Bondo thanks the rain.


more or less unrelated illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Did Jeremy Bonderman completely melt down in Friday night’s game? Yes.

Does it matter? The game got rained out before it was official, so… no.

Of course that’s a technical truth and an actual lie; while the results from Friday have been stricken from all baseball records, the fact of Bondo’s struggles remains, a particularly stubborn smell hovering persistently in the air. Garlic, maybe. Or skunk. Something pungent and resistant to dispersal.

I’m not precisely sure what to do with the stench of Bondo’s latest performance. I assume that the weather was kind of nasty even before the game was called (I didn’t see it– feel free to correct me if this was not the case), so maybe the cold/damp just had a negative impact on him, this is just a fluke, nothing to worry about, etc. But it’s his second Really Startlingly Bad outing of the season (alongside his 4-inning, 10-run effort on April 16 in Seattle). He has only had two quality starts out of the five games he’s pitched so far (if this one had counted, it would have been 2 out of 6), and he has yet to go more than 6 innings in any game this season.

You got lucky this time, Bondo, with the rain. It may not be recorded as such, but we all KNOW you were out there struggling it up. Armando is ready and waiting. Just keep that in mind.

4 responses to “Bondo thanks the rain.

  1. If Huff or Bondo had been any good their team probably would have won in a 5, or 6 inning rain shortened game.

    Just view last night as extended batting practice for today’s game.

    Also, enjoy the fact that Grady had his first homer of the season wiped out if you have that kind of personality. (I do!)

  2. TigersFan81371

    From now until the end of time, nobody will ever know that Bondo sucked on Friday night because now there was actually no game for him to have sucked in. However, for the rest of my days, I’ll know in my heart of hearts that he did indeed suck on Friday night.

  3. “Armando is ready and waiting. ”

    And Armando obliges by giving up 7 runs in four innings in his last start…

  4. It was 78 degrees and humid before the downpour, probably why the balls were flying that night. Maybe the moisture messed up Bondo’s robotic circuitry. ;)

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