So the Tigers played the Red Sox and they won some games and I have a lot of thoughts about that but I’m not very organized right now, so you get whatever this is.

photo by Samara Pearlstein

Oh man you guys I am so tired right now. This weekend just absolutely killed me, in both baseball and non-baseball terms. I kept trying to write a post but then I would fall asleep on the keyboard. That is not even exaggeration. I woke up at one point with a very stiff neck and a blog entry that said djsssssssssssssssssfldfsssshjjkhlllllllllllllllllllllllll……, Maybe I could turn that into some kind of art project, but it doesn’t say much about baseball.


–On Saturday I was listening to the Red Sox radio broadcast of the game as I was driving home from a 14-15 hour workday. My back was killing me, my knees were killing me (my knees are still killing me), my throat was killing me since I had been screaming almost nonstop for 10 of those hours. I was beyond tired. Right before I got in the car I had gotten a text message from my friend Beth saying, “So yeah, this pretty much looks like the hastily reanimated corpse of what I remember as Dontrelle Willis.” This is just to set the scene for you.

The Red Sox radio guys start talking about Dontrelle. I paraphrase, but it was something very much like this:

“He’s a guy who is known for playing the game with such open joy. He just loves to play.”
“Well, maybe not anymore. You might have to go back to 2003 for that. That was another Dontrelle.”
“Oh, you’re right. He’s different now. These days he doesn’t seem to play with that joy anymore, he just doesn’t seem to get the same happiness from the game of baseball.”
And more in a similar vein.

THANKS A LOT, RED SOX RADIO GUYS, I’LL JUST BE OVER HERE, SOBBING HYSTERICALLY ON THE HIGHWAY. I almost had to pull over into the breakdown lane. Granted, I was in a particularly susceptible state at the time, but Dontrelle used to pitch with a beautiful boundless delight and now the game of baseball seems to now be bereft of joy for him? Why not just say that all the light and color have been drained out of his life, oh and by the way, any Tigers fans listening to this broadcast, I hope you can stay in your lane while tears are streaming down your cheeks. BLOODY HECK.

–Also according to the Red Sox radio guys, Casper Wells is the first Casper to ever play in the big leagues (not just in the minors). I searched the Baseball Cube to verify this and found Casper Asbjornson, who had played for Boston and Cincinnati in the late 20s-early 30s, but his real name was Robert Anthony Asbjornson; Casper was just a nickname. The card on his Wikipedia page has his name as ‘Asby Asbjornson’. So it is true, Casper Wells is the first.

–I noticed that Alex Avila seems to have already shaved down his mohawk. Way to hate fun, Avila the Younger. Both the Red Sox radio guys and TV guys made fun of Eddie Bonine’s mohawk.

–Armando Galarraga is up and started on Sunday. He took the place of Max Scherzer, who was sent to Toledo. He can hang out with Daniel Schlereth now. That cat’s still on the Mudhens, right?

–Bondo threw an inning in relief on May 16 despite the fact that he had started on May 12 and is scheduled to start again on May 19. Thanks for making things weird, double header.

–Scott Sizemore was sent to the minors on account of struggly struggles. Danny Worth is up to play second right now. Carlos Guillen will be playing second base when he comes back, so as to not disrupt Brennan Boesch. You read that correctly. Carlos Guillen and his Surgically Repaired Everything will be playing second base. Paws help us all.

–Casper Wells, as previously mentioned, is up, and holy cats, have you actually seen this kid? He looks like he’s barely out of his packaging.

It’s all a bit overwhelming.

–WHAT was that Saturday night game? I was home in time to catch the end of it, and I should note that I was definitely falling asleep on the couch… still, WHAT? Dontrelle had made Red Sox announcers speak of the ultimate sadness, the Tigers were down 6-1 until the 6th inning, there were 12 Red Sox walks, a-a-a-and the Tigers still won? On… on a walkoff walk by Ramon Santiago? I thought maybe I was hallucinating from exhaustion but there are articles and things on the Internet. And that would be a very involved hallucination. I suppose I shouldn’t rule it out completely, though.

–While it pains me to see the Red Sox slip back down to .500, seeing the Tigers take 3 of 4 from the Yankees and 2 of 3 from Boston right before Chicago comes to town is pretty glorious. It’s obviously good for their record, and if they can ride that momentum into victory over all things Wrong Soxular, I think it’s safe to say that we will collectively be flooded with mellow good feelings.

14 responses to “So the Tigers played the Red Sox and they won some games and I have a lot of thoughts about that but I’m not very organized right now, so you get whatever this is.

  1. Wilcoxon Signed-Rank

    Tigers win, hooray! Wait, how do you land a gig where you get paid to scream for ten hours? Lots of people pay big money for that kind of therapy.

  2. Casper Wells rules. I am pleased that my campaign to free him was successful so early in the year.

    Get some rest! :)

  3. Yes well if Maggs didn’t tell Ramone to actually go to first base it could have been an epic fail.

    That series made me tired too.

  4. Beware the power of Ramon Santiago.

    I feel sorry for Carlos, though. What does he have to do (other than stay healthy) to keep a job? Since 2007, I count that he’s had at least six positions: shortstop, third base, first base, left field, DH, and now second. How in the world is he supposed to remember what he’s doing?

  5. There were so many times when I swore we were going to lose that game Saturday night. The second-to-last was when Zumaya foul-tip beaned the ump in the head. I was like “great, now they’re gonna bring in the NHL officials and tell them the Tigers and Red Wings are serial plane-sharers.”

    And I was kinda right. The funniest moment in the post-Zoom-beaning erratica of the strike zone was when Ramirez threw what he thought and Inge thought and plenty of other homo sapiens thought was Ball Four of an intentional non-intentional walk. But lo, it was only the lowest strike in the history of ever. And get this: Ramirez was upset, cause now he had to throw a whole-‘nother pitch to Inge.

    And then walking Santiago, which scored a run only because the Inge walk loaded the bases. Can’t fault Francona’s strategy. Glad we beat the odds.

  6. ivantopumpyouup

    Sam, you’re getting a lot of love in this thread:

    thought you might like to know :p

  7. Seems like I’m not the only one sore from the weekend. Insult to injury — tonight’s game against the Turd Sox has been postponed. Booooo!

  8. I have to admit that I’ll be watching Bondo extra closely tomorrow… he should be fine, the relief outing shouldn’t affect him, but…. you know… :/

  9. Oh great, lump me in with Boston radio a-holes. :P

  10. Just thought you guys would like to know, as I wondered myself, once ball 4 is thrown, the base is immediately awarded to him, whether the men before him touch their bases or not.

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