there’s a new wee Cabrera in the world today

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

It’s a girl! Miguel Cabrera had stayed home for this Seattle trip so that he could be with his very pregnant wife, and today it was announced near the start of the game that wee Isabella Cabrera has joined us. Congratulations to Miggy and to Rosangel (and Rosangel Jr, who gets a new baby sister outta the whole deal).

As we haven’t heard otherwise, we may happily assume that both mom and baby are doing well, so hopefully Miggy will be rejoining the team with a spring in his step and a smile on his face. If that translates to more good hitting, awesome. If it just translates to enthusiastic feel-good noogies of Brandon Inge in the dugout, that’s cool too.

We could use some feel-good noogies, because do you know what I hate? I hate losing series to one of the three worst teams in the AL. Even if it’s a stupid miniature two game series (and WHAT is up with all the two game series lately?), it’s still no good.

Here is a thing that I wonder about: Bondo today had thrown 93 pitches through 7 innings, didn’t look completely horrific, and was not sent out for the 8th. If I’m remembering correctly, Verlander had thrown 98 through 7 last night, still looked pretty good, and WAS sent out for the 8th. This is AFTER Jim Leyland made those statements about watching Justin’s pitch counts more closely. WHAT GIVES? I’m starting to feel like this whole thing is a set-up to infuriate me personally. I’m only paranoid because you made me this way, Mr. Leyland.

More things from this latest game:

–Brennan Boesch came over into foul territory chasing an Ichiro ball on the first defensive Tigers play of the game. He made the catch right at the short (knee-high-ish on him) wall, went right over into the stands. Onto the cement! My reaction was to clap my hands over my mouth and issue muffled shrieks. There may or may not have been a reflexive “Brandon Inge!” in there. Anyways, there is a stairway pole right there, he might have hit the back of his head on it, and of course his shoulders/back took a hit as he went down. He held onto the ball and got right back up again, though. It was very impressive and was the start of Ichiro’s 0-for-5 day.

–The most ridiculous play of the game came with one out in the bottom of the 2nd. Josh Bard hit one back to the mound. Bondo knocked it down, then couldn’t pick it up with his bare hand. He finally got it and fired it into deep right foul territory, sending Tigers scrambling after it. Meanwhile Bard had tweaked a hamstring or something out of the box and was hobbling around first, barely making it into second. He was slow and looked really bad, but after stretching tried to claim he was ok, only Don Wakamatsu was having none of it and took him out of the game. Just a hideous play all ’round.

–Rod Allen spent ages talking about how hard it is to turn a double play on Ichiro because of his speed and bat control. Then Ichiro hit into an inning-ending double play. Rod whistles and says, “I see you, middle infielders!”

–There was a sign on the wall behind the batter all game announcing the fact that June 4 is “Felix Hernandez Train Night”. I had no idea what that was, but it sounded awesome, so I looked it up. Apparently the Mariners have been doing a collectible toy train car series since 2000. So previous years’ giveaways have been the JJ Putz Flamethrower Express, the Adrian Beltre A-Train, the Boonie Box Car, etc. This year is the Felix Hernandez High Octane Gas Company train car. This is, just as it initially seemed, incredibly awesome.

–After Bondo finished the 7th, the camera focused on him getting congratulated by the team in the dugout. His hat wasn’t on, so Rod and Mario started talking about his ‘mohawk’. As we were watching, Brandon Inge came up, made pincers out of his fingers, and ran them over Bondo’s mohawk channel. I’m not sure how else to describe this gesture to someone who didn’t see it, but holy cats, you guys, I died on the spot, only to be immediately resurrected for continued lulz. I mean, the gesture itself, and the TIMING of it, right as Rod and Mario were having this big conversation about mohawks and players keeping them for luck and whatnot. Too glorious.

Then they start talking about the fact that Phil Coke loves his mohawk, ‘wears it spiked up and everything’. This team!

–I was screaming at the TV while Ryan Perry was messing things up, “RYAN PERRY DON’T YOU DARE. DON’T YOU DARE RUIN THIS FOR BONDO.” He did it anyways. Ryan Perry, if only you would listen to me! Your professional life would be greatly improved!

–Franklin Gutierrez had another pretty good day. Side-eye at that dude.

–Ichiro threw Ryan Raburn out at home, by a ton, early in the game. Raburn really should have known better. It’s ICHIRO, man, his arm is not an unknown factor! I know what he can do, the people in the crowd know what he can do, people watching the game at whatever’o’clock over in Japan know what he can do, Scott Pickens’ dog knows what he can do. You know this, Mr. Raburn. Listen to your heart.

Unless your heart is telling you to run on Ichiro. Then you just tell that heart to get bent. But not literally, because we don’t need another injury right now.

This has nothing to do with the Tigers but it is AMAZING: Sean Rodriguez, Tampa Bay Ray, was stung by a real-life ray. This is REAL LIFE, people.

A few steps…later, he saw something flash through the water and felt something on his right heel.

“I actually thought it was a catfish at first, that it grazed me. I didn’t think much of it,” Rodriguez said. “And then I got out of the water, and I was like whoooaaaa.”

Shortstop Jason Bartlett and his 1-year-old son Jaden were with the Rodriguezes and lent an handy assist.

“He heard me screaming and he goes, ‘What got you?’ and I was like, ‘Man, I don’t know,’ ” Rodriguez said. “I was coming out of the water and there was just straight blood shooting out, like a straight line.”
Marc Topkin/St Petersburg Times

As people all over the internet have been pointing out, he may well be the first baseball player to be attacked by the real version of his own team namesake in the wild. Amazing, amazing. I am in amaze. This story is fantastic.

(He’s fine, for the record. Presumably, so is the ray.)

14 responses to “there’s a new wee Cabrera in the world today

  1. Aww how cute…

    I’m not sure about the mascot thing though…I bet Mauer has been attacked by twins before. I’m just saying…

  2. ivantopumpyouup

    Oh, wow, wow, wow, that Rodriguez thing. *wipes single Tear of Mirth from eye*

  3. I bet plenty of guys on the White Sox and Red Sox have had blisters.

  4. Don’t Mess with Ichiro when trying to take extra bases. Rod Allen was mentioning also that his agent back in the day was Hank Greenberg’s son, and that he got to see the late Mr. Greenberg play tennis back in the day

  5. Oh, I so love that you worked Scott Pickens into this post. Five gold stars for that!

  6. Whose leg to I need to hump to get some late-inning relief against the Mariners around here? Dab-nabbit!

  7. El Gato Pollo Loco

    My question is “Do you pee on a stingray sting like a jellyfish sting?”

  8. I recall when Ichiro first got here, and the Mariners were playing one of those closed-roof, last-weekend-before-the-season-started exhibition games at Safeco Field, and some poor schlub who had spent his spring in Florida tried to go first-to-third on a ball hit Ichiro’s way. The post-game quote belonged to John Olerud, who was asked what he was thinking when he saw the guy attempt to get to third base. “What was I thinking? I was thinking ‘Dude, you are sooooooo out.'” Dear Ryan Raburn, that was 9 years ago. The Tigers got the memo a long time ago, time to dig it up out of the files.

  9. The Ray thing is pretty spectacular. It’s almost as if… almost as if it knew

    I also saw the Inge/Bondo gesture and yeah, I am not sure how else you could explain that. Inge kind of made a V of his fingers and stroked the sides of Bondo’s mohawk with it? I don’t know. It was pretty great, though.

  10. I am imagining Juan Gonzalez chased by a very angry wild tiger right now.

    Also, Jeff Weaver.

    • HawkeyeEdward

      I have a friend who covers the Tigers for AP. At the end of the 2006 WS, he posted in a personal blog, “Well, the Tigers lost… but did it have to be Jeff Weaver?”

      There’s a story behind that comment, but I have yet to ask him about it. I kinda got the impression from general conversation that Weaver was not all that popular with the media.

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