Welcome back, Dontrelle! And by ‘welcome back’, we mean ‘hope you do well except for right now, when we hope you perform horribly’.


photo by Samara Pearlstein, awkwardness courtesy of Bobby Seay

Oh, well, nice to see you again, Dontrelle. How… how’ve you been? Good, right? Um… OK, this is pretty awkward.

See, less than a month ago we were saying our heartfelt goodbyes, and now here you are again, back on the mound at Comerica, but this time your socks have their aesthetically-pleasing height somewhat cheapened by that unappealing purpley-maroon, and Brandon Inge is hitting you all over the park. Gosh. That’s just all kinds of awkward.

In his return to Detroit, Dontrelle allowed 5 runs (all earned). He gave up 5 hits, including two doubles and a homer. He walked four, threw a wild pitch, and needed 93 pitches to get through 5 innings. Inge, Magglio Ordonez, and Danny freakin’ Worth all had multi-hit games.

It’s like… I feel bad, but I really, really don’t. You know?

Oh, and speaking of awkwardness: Miguel Cabrera had to leave today’s game due to ‘dizziness’. I was not by a TV for some of the game and so missed the plays surrounding this alleged bout of dizziness, but I heard that he might have taken an unfortunate skip from a ground ball, which may have contributed all sorts of bad feelings, one of which, I assume, may have been a form of light-headedness. Can anyone confirm or deny?

Most awkward: Every time I hear someone mention Chad Qualls, I immediately think of James Quall, which is just… yeah. Sorry Chad. It’s not you, it’s your name. So it is you, kind of. Hmm. Awkward.

10 responses to “Welcome back, Dontrelle! And by ‘welcome back’, we mean ‘hope you do well except for right now, when we hope you perform horribly’.

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    I’d be happy to blame the error on lightheadedness! He left pretty soon after that, actually.

    PHIL COKE PHIL COKE PHIL COKE. That is all.

  2. ivantopumpyouup

    Oh, according to Tigers.com the lightheadedness came because of the error. It got him in the groin and he had to leave with dizziness. Oops.

  3. TigersFan81371

    Who is that Bobby Seay guy in the picture? It seems like I oughta kinda sorta recognize him. The name sounds vaguely familiar.

    Hmm. I’m drawing a blank.

  4. I am so sad you did not see this game on TV because you missed a PRANK ON ROD AND MARIO.
    it was 80s night, and in the middle of an inning the camera suddenly pans to rod and mario (unbeknownst to them). Rod is standing up and chewbacca and darth vader and princess leia walk in behind them. then rod catches chewy out of the corner of his eye and he flinches in a flight/fight moment. then he and and mario get laughing and miss most of the inning talking about (but not too) the star wars people. then they leave without saying a word. weird and priceless. i was doubled over.

    and i couldn’t wait to see what you would write about it.

    love the tigers service you provide!

  5. The grouder in question took an odd bounce right before getting to Miggy and jumped up above his glove, then (and this is a painful phrase to write) deflected into the outfield. Def painful.

  6. Your friendly neighborhood D-backs fan waving hello, here. I sadly didn’t get to watch the game but…I just wish they’d kept Willis in the bullpen for the whole road trip like they originally said they would.

  7. haha! I thought of James Quall too but didn’t think anyone else would. awesome.

  8. To be fair, Dontrelle didn’t take the loss. The game was tied for most of the middle innings, so the bullpens got the decisions.

    But I did feel bad that ESPN was saying the D-Train had derailed. I’ve seen worse, even if he wasn’t at his absolute best.

  9. This may be going out on a limb, but I’m gonna say that Rod/Chewie terror moment is currently at the top of my Rod Allen epic moments list this year. Simply spectacular. The guys in the truck must have loved it as much as I did because they kept replaying it. Hopefully that will continue for the rest of the year.

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