Max Scherzer’s Terrifying K Army

photo illustration thing by Samara Pearlstein

Blue Ks on the right! Brown Ks on the left! And in the middle– TOTAL SCHERZERIFICATION.

Six strikeouts in seven innings is far from his season high (I was totally going to reuse that cartoon tonight before I had one last burst of not-too-tiredness), but it is still respectable, and Max was so good through the first 6 innings that he deserves every last bit of his creepy K army picture. Through six he had given up two singles, a triple, and one walk. That was IT. Nobody had scored on him, not even the triple. RESPECT.

He’s started 8 games now since he came back from the temporary Toledo demotion. In that time he’s averaged around 10 Ks per 9 innings pitched. In that time he’s had one bad game (he gave up 5 runs in 5 innings in KC), two mediocre games (3 earned runs each in 7.1 and 6 inning starts respectively), and five really bloody good games (in 33.1 innings, he gave up 3 earned runs).

SEE, FREDFRED? Toledo is soothing and magical. Let it work its magic on you.

Miggy was 2-for-3, and so was Inge. Inge had the extra-base hit, though. Wicked.

After Scherzer, it was all about the Firsts. Robbie Weinhardt came on in relief of Scherzer for his big league debut. He wasn’t perfect– he gave up a hit and a run– but he wasn’t horrific either. The runner came around to score on the next reliever’s watch anyways, so it wasn’t even really all his fault.

Phil Coke got his very first save as a Tiger.

Danny Worth got his very first big league home run! It was a solo shot in the third inning, off of Brad Bergesen, who, yes, is an Oriole, but it was still a legit home run, ok, back off.

Now here’s the deal.

Today (Thursday) is an offday. I won’t be around much this weekend because I will be bumming about on the Cape. And then it’s the All Star break, which means a midseason report card and whatever the heck else I feel like posting. That’s still a longish break before an MLB-imposed break, so to make it up to you, I’m giving you the chance to


Very simple. I have a list of things I want to cartoon while I’m on the Cape (Carlos ‘Guillentine’, Danny Worth’s first HR, Brennan Boesch hitting lasers, etc). Why do you want on there? Speak. Maybe I will draw it.


29 responses to “Max Scherzer’s Terrifying K Army

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    I have a list! HA HA HA! Oh, Sam. You will only live to regret this:

    – Brennan Boesch hitting actual lasers
    – Phil Coke’s ever-changing hair/facial hair styles
    – Leyland with a “Friar Tuck”
    – Franken-Zumaya
    – “If Ryan Perry’s tattoos could talk”
    – Your top five trade deadline dream acquisitions
    – Jon Rauch standing next to Enrique Gonzalez (you see, Rauch is well over a foot taller than Gonzalez . . .)
    – The starting rotation (with their super powers) must destroy the evil Minnesota Twins before they get their clutches on the AL Central!
    – what would Phil Coke’s super power be?
    – Miguel Cabrera’s hair takes over the WORLD
    – Your 2010 Detroit Tigers as the Star Trek Reboot cast
    – Your 2010 Detroit Tigers as The Hangover cast
    – Your Detroit Tigers as the Sherlock Holmes cast
    – Ryan Perry + magic flying carpet + unicorn
    – Rick Porcello + Danny Worth + a jackalope

    I could go on and on and on. I’d do some of these myself, but I’d rather see you do them in Terrible Cartoons style. :P Maybe I’ll do the ones you pass on anyway. idk. Hope your brain doesn’t explode!

  2. ivantopumpyouup

    Oh yeah. Scherzer was great. And I am in love with Coke’s offspeed stuff. That changeup that caught Fox looking? I want to marry it.

  3. Casey on the Bench

    Want to see Miggy wearing his Triple Crown. And, y’know, kittens.

  4. I think Brennan Boesch has taken over the laser show from Dustin Pedroia.

  5. In detroit this weekend we were actually discussing that you should draw a Jeremy Bonderman that actually looks like he sounds. complete with overalls, sprig of wheat (?) hanging out of his mouth, and a polka dot sack hanging off the end of a bat. I can’t remember what those are called. you get the idea. the best part is that we hadn’t even been drinking when we came up with this.

  6. Your 2010 Detroit Tigers as the Star Trek Reboot cast

    YES! That would be hilarious. I want to see Boesch mocking all those all stars he’s batting better than…

  7. I think we could use a collage depicting the glory that is Papa Grande. The fountain act before coming in…the celebratory dances…the 1-2-3 saves…the goggles…the ghost of Todd Jones smiling beneficently down…Spuds! (But how would you draw fans not biting nails and having heart attacks?)

  8. -Alli, I believe the polka dot sack thing is called a hobo bindle.
    -As for the sketchbook, perhaps add some more superpowers! Like “The Bullpen Has Superpowers” or the infielders or outfielders or whatever. Some maybe be easier than others, but one I definately advise doing is Alex Avila and his 5 ‘o clock shadow of awesomeness!
    -I loved the superpowers posts, they cracked me up!Especially FredFred: “I have seen the future and it has ME in it. Being good at baseball.” :)

    • ivantopumpyouup

      //-As for the sketchbook, perhaps add some more superpowers! Like “The Bullpen Has Superpowers”//

      I approve of this suggestion very hard.

  9. Oh, and perhaps a comic about Brennan Boesch! Like the one you did for Matt Joyce, Savior of Kittens! That was HILARIOUS!

  10. I promise, I will enjoy any cartoons you come up with – but most of these suggestions sound pretty good!

  11. Something about Polanco, or a concept!cartoon on how it feels when YOUR tiger is sent packing? (especially when I have to hear about ridiculous contracts or how the infield for the Tigers is so problematic and what happened to it and OMG (DD??? WHY?)

    OK, that’s just my bitterness. How about a Boesch/Jackson cartoon? Or possibly a series where they are superheroic in the way, that you know, they are? TDamon could be a ‘sage’, but mostly incoherent Yoda figure that they not politely at. I like to suggest bad concepts that entail a lot of work for you, apparently.

    I suck at coming up with cartoons but I know whatever you draw will be genius.

  12. how about the twins sneaking into miggy’s house in the middle of the night and shaving his head thinking that it will take away his magical powers…. only it makes him stronger!

    he is so samson with that ridiculous hair. but that cartoon would fulfill my “miggy get a haircut” fantasy.

  13. i love this! i love it! anything with anyone as kittens. and phil coke and his coke heads. that would be amazing. this is the 3rd greatest day of RotT for me. 1st being Justin’s open letter and 2nd being that cat movie one.

  14. ivantopumpyouup

    FrogMan said this in the last post, but I’d like to see this too:

    //Ryan Perry as chinstrap penguin…//


  15. Hmm how about a cartoon called The Rooks, with heads of AJax, Boesch, Worth, et al on the bodies of crows…it would be very disturbing. But in a good way, right?

  16. You guys are crazy. ‘Course I can’t talk… ;)

  17. It might be more than just a sketch but work the team in to a classical piece of work like:
    A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte
    The Last Supper (save that for the end of the season)
    Leyland and Boesch as Madonna and Child.
    I have a feeling you could run with this one.

    • I wholeheartedly second this idea and vote for (a) ! Who gets to be the monkey?

    • Oooh! This one! The first one especially. (Trying to imagine pointillist Paws).

      Of course, any cartoon we get is a gift and will be most appreciated. The bobblehead was amazing btw. I really like how you go into detail on how you make things/what decisions you make in drawing/what you struggle with. For someone with no artistic creativity, it’s a neat window into the process.

  18. Just…wow. I can’t even begin to contribute to this. My head is spinning. So much potential awesomeness.

    But I just have to say that I’m pleased to come here and read that “Toledo is soothing and magical.” It’s true. Forget everything you’ve heard; we’re here for you. Stop by anytime, y’all.

    (…and, @allthewine–nice handle. Good to see another fan of TWO good things.)

  19. I want see the photos from “a bird-brained win just means that the Tigers brained some birds” as a cartoon. Last frame: Damon left alone to say the punchline.

  20. I take that back. Damon turns to Paws to ask the punchline.


  22. I was wrong everybody. He is on SI’s All-Star team.

  23. How about something with Jim Price and “the art of pitching”–like “The Meninas” but with Price as Velázquez, and Boesch and Jackson instead of las meninas?
    Also, I can see a series of Jim gruffly but tenderly teaching the rookies how to do manly things for the first time.
    The rookies as The New Kids on the Block?
    Whatever you do, I’m sure it will brighten my day.

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