ignoring the HR Derby’s problems with cartoons

Here is what is wrong with the Home Run Derby: David Ortiz wins it (not wrong), he comes up to present the giant check to the Boys and Girls Club or whatever (not wrong), he has his tiny son with him (not wrong). He holds up the trophy with the giant bats (appropriate for Big Papi), and in the temporary crowd silence he DEDICATES HIS VICTORY TO JOSE LIMA WITH A SHORT BUT HEARTFELT SPEECH. Tears begin to well up in my stony blogger eyes.

And Erin Andrews, who is standing next to him with the mic, says, “That’s nice, Papi,” in a bored tone and moves on.

Ugggggggggh I listened to HOURS of Joe Morgan and Chris Berman’s idiocy and Bobby Valentine’s sleeping potion voice, I listened to ARod panting after Mark Teixeira, I had to watch Nick ‘The Worst Human Being’ Swisher on my tv screen, and after all that I was rewarded by watching David Ortiz, whom I adore, ruin his home run swing for the rest of the season, and after all of THAT I had to watch his touching tribute to Jose Lima get shot down by ESPN. I HATE EVERYTHING INVOLVED IN THIS.

I mostly stopped paying attention once Miguel Cabrera was eliminated anyways. So this was really a waste of time in all ways. Here, have Tigers Star Trek for no good reason except one of you asked for it. Click for bigger.

The concerned redshirt is Don Kelly, because let’s be honest, we all know who is expendable here.


20 responses to “ignoring the HR Derby’s problems with cartoons

  1. Hum, I wonder if the Starship Comerica could find space Answer Hamsters to bring back for the 2nd half?

    Awesome work as always Sam!

  2. Who’s the chick? Is that Miguelita?

    • Yeah, he was the only one with enough hair right now. Sorry Miggy.

      Although really, being Uhura is nothing to be sorry over, so…

      • His legs! So skinny! Maybe this is why he neglects the high socks so often… Self conscious about his alarmingly seductive legs.

        Sam you’re the best person. Can I slightly remind you that tomorrow is my day of birth? And you could even repost the cartoon you put on my FB from last year??

  3. ivantopumpyouup

    I. I. I. OMG. *spaz*

    I LOVE VALVERDE AS SCOTTY SCHERZER AS SPOCK VERLANDER AS KIRK KELLY AS A RED-SHIRT NI AS SULU (IS JACKSON CHEKOV?) BUT THE BEST IS CABRERA AS UHURA!!!!! AHAHAH. I don’t think he could pull off that dress IRL but this is Terrible Cartoons! Anything is possible with Terrible Cartoons!


  4. That Tiger Star Trek is the best/worst/best Terrible Cartoon of all time!!! I about died laughing.

  5. DYING. DYING. Verlander’s smug Kirk face… Scherzer as Spock… Papa Grande flipping out a la Scotty…. I’m dead.

  6. Amazing. Just amazing.

  7. Verlander and Ni are two of the yellow shirts. who’s the other? (Star Trek is before i was born and im too lazy to see the new movie)

  8. scherzer looks great. he really cartoons well!
    i love his david bowie eyes! A+ and a place on the fridge!

  9. Kelly in the red shirt made my day. Thank you.

  10. I thought that Verlander and Valverde were Mario and Rod at first glance

  11. To be fair, it could be worse. We could’ve heard about Hamilton all night long and then, when he loses to Morneau, the guy presenting the big check could ask “Jason” how it feels to win.

    After all, it’s not like he recently had won the MVP or anything… Sorry for the Twins related rant, but that still bugs me. Stupid ESPN…

  12. If you thought that Kirk/Bahoora kiss (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plato%27s_Stepchildren) was racy for Television the first time…wait’ll Fox Sports Detroit gets the letters from this one.

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