all illustrations by Samara Pearlstein
A Wrongness: Justin Verlander pitching to Joe Mauer. And here I was, innocently assuming that the All Star game, like all other MLB-sanctioned activities, was supposed to be family friendly. You let the nation’s children watch a perversion of the natural order like that, Bud Selig? For shame. FOR SHAME.
Your All Star Cats:
Miguel Cabrera: 1 for 2 (a single), no Ks, no walks. No injuries.
Justin Verlander: 1 inning, 2 hits (both singles), 2 Ks, no walks. No runs allowed. No injuries.
Jose Valverde: 1 inning, no hits, no walks, 3 Ks. No runs allowed. No injuries.
I am counting this ASG a Tigers win. Almost everything else about the game was either boring or infuriating (sure, we’ll talk about George Steinbrenner and Bob Sheppard until the rally monkeys come home, but will we so much as mention Ernie Harwell’s name?) or both, and the AL lost, which is incredibly embarrassing (the last time the AL lost was 1996). So let us move on to more Terrible Cartoons, which of course are not the least bit embarrassing for any of the parties involved.
Mid-season report card coming at some point tomorrow. More cartoons eventually, as I have a load of them thanks to you nuts, I just have to color them all. Oh, and I think this will post dated July 14, so
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENRIQUE GONZALEZ
HAPPY BIRTHDAY READER ALLTHEWINE (mwah!)
HAPPY BASTILLE DAY!!