terribleness continues


nooooooooooooo

IT’S ALL FALLING APART. AGONY. DESTRUCTION. REALLY TERRIBLE BASEBALL.

Welcome back, Armando Galarraga! Sure, you settled down from the third inning on, but those three runs right out of the gate were a nice way to get back into the swing of things, don’t you think? Yes, yes clearly that is what you think. I am disgusted with your thought process, Armando.

Sure, it’s not like you got any run support whatsoever, but that’s not the point here, now is it. Or, well, it is the point, but only when I’m yelling at the hitters. It’s not the point for YOU, Armando. Like, I appreciate that you were able to stretch yourself into the 8th inning somehow, that’s miraculous and I applaud it, but APPARENTLY Tommy Hunter is some sort of UNSTOPPABLE PITCHING MACHINE and you can’t just GIVE him four runs and expect to get away with it. Who the hell knew? Not us, because as everyone knows the AL West is a fabrication and a lie, just like Mountain Time and fat-free crackers that really do taste like the regular crackers.

And hey, welcome back CASEY FIEN, I didn’t even know you were coming back until I got home tonight and saw that you had already left your stain mark on the game and possibly the mound itself. Three runs of your own and one of Thomas’ that you so considerately brought in for him, like laundry left out in the rain. Well I know you were just trying to be helpful, Casey, but this was laundry that Brad Thomas wanted to ROT. If you had left it we all would have been happier.

Back-to-back home runs too! How exciting you must have wanted things to be for the people at the ballpark! Further proof of your considerate but wildly misguided nature. If only we could figure out how to aim you properly, we would all be so much happier.

Anyways, welcome back to the Majors. We do SO look forward to seeing what sorts of wonderful things you can do with that 10.13 ERA.

11 responses to “terribleness continues

  1. David O. (13194013)

    Casey Fien has come into the game to replace Brad Thomas.

    Casey Fien’s confidence and pitching ability have committed suicide on the mound.

    In play, run(s).

  2. For my summer linguistics research project, I transcribe baseball broadcasts. Please, I’m begging you, for the sake of my sanity, consider podcasting a game or something so I can make up some diversify our data set excuse to listen and copy it down. Even the brutally numbing formulaicity of today’s announcers is too weak to dull the pain of 3 hours of KTAR Phoenix with Jeff and Candi.

    • Man I don’t know how to work them podcast-a-ma-jigs. The most I can do is liveblog a game on one of those Cover It Live things.

      WHY are you listening to a Phoenix broadcast, though? (Also, if you can do TV broadcasts and not just radio, try to catch the Red Sox NESN team. They often go off on weird tangents and it can get hilarious.)

  3. Pingback: Welcome: Piniella, White Sox and Teel | Outside the Clubhouse

  4. It would have been nice to win 3 or 4 f these games. Given the tough late-July early-August schedule the Tigers are likley to drop a few more back.

    I thought they could have a dramatic come back from 3 or 4 under in September. (They close against the O’s after all.) There is no way a team can come back from seven behind in September, right?

  5. Hey, 3.5 games out and tied with the Twins for second after a 7-game losing streak ain’t that bad.

    But it really is that bad. Because this losing streak isn’t coming from disappearing bats, but rather a regression to the mean. Individual Tigers are actually playing at the level we would expect from them, and we’re losing. This is very bad. Like 2005 bad.

  6. This will make you feel better – a little story from FSD about the lady who cuts the players’ hair in the clubhouse, including some extreme scalp closeups!

  7. I agree with Jeff, we still aren’t THAT far out of first, and it’s not like teams haven’t had a comeback against a team that falters. However, I’m not sure we are that team. I said at the beginning of the year it was a building year, and not to expect over 500, I’m still hoping they can get it back together though.

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