Our old nemesis returns to feast.

image by Samara Pearlstein

This game would have been better if there had been a brawl. At least a brawl would have been entertaining. There is really nothing entertaining about watching Rick Porcello and half the bullpen melt down against the Yankees.

The Yankees scored 9 runs in the sixth inning. There is only one thing that can explain this, only one creature whose presence could have made such an epic disaster of baseball fail possible. You know.

My one real hope is that he gorged himself in this game. Nine runs in one inning… four Tigers pitchers in one inning… surely that was enough to fill his orange saurian belly. So maybe– just maybe– he will leave the Tigers alone for a bit now. That seems fair, right?

I will once again be missing the Friday and weekend games, so there won’t be any new posts until Monday. Will the Tigers be able to beat up on the Racist Logos, something that SHOULD be well within their meager abilities? Or will they be so demoralized, so off-tempo, so… so gnawed-upon… that they will fall before the admitted horror of an imported bit of Cleveland? You will have to watch and let me know.

6 responses to “Our old nemesis returns to feast.

  1. Oh Spazzy, I’d like to say we’ve missed you but please try chewing on the other teams for a while.

    Btw, I do always enjoy seeing the Spazzosaurus art so much even if the occasions dearly frustrate.

  2. This makes me wonder if they perhaps found a way to leave the Spazzosaurus behind in New York. Does Yankee bullpen arm meat taste as good as Tiger bullpen arm meat does? Somebody please say it is so.

  3. This series stuff is really messing up the Tigers. They play about 1/10 their games against the Indians. If we schedule those games every 10 days instead of lumped together then Galarraga could pitch all of them. 18 wins-18 Galarraga games that take less than 7 hours and Verlander and Scherzer can pitch against real teams.

  4. Wilcoxon Signed-Rank

    file under: Brandon Inge Fun Facts

    When Inge comes to the plate, pray that it will be a quick AB. Because, the longer Brandon is up there, the more horrible things become.

    To wit, when a Brandon Inge AB lasts only 1 or 2 pitches, he hits .438.
    3 pitches or longer? .209.

    If a Brandon AB lasts 3 or less pitches, he hits .351
    4 pitches or longer? .187.

    Get up there and hack, Brandon. Be quick about it.

  5. Wilcoxon Signed-Rank

    I should add that those pitch counts are not precise. The first comparison is precise (2 pitches or less does result in .432, and 2+ results in .209), but the 3 pitches or less are based on counts of 0-0, 1-0, 2-0, 0-1, 0-2, 1-1. Ostensibly, that 0-2 scenario could be more than three pitches if Brandon fouls offs some 0-2 pitches.

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