Max Scherzer pitches like a baseball god, gets nothing.

insert ‘Maxwell’s silver hammer’ joke here

So I was going to write a whole bunch of angry things about Ryan Perry, and how he RUINED EVERYTHING, and how he did this AWFUL UNSPEAKABLE THING to Max Scherzer, and really we are talking MASSIVE RUINATION here, but I figure he probably doesn’t need me to tell him about that, you know? I am sure he feels pretty terrible right now all on his own. He has to know that he screwed up (against division rivals) (twice, in two nights) (part of this is your fault, Jim Leyland). What good does it do for me to add to the pile?

Let us speak instead of MAXWELL M. SCHERZER.

(Anyone know what the ‘M’ stands for?)

A VERITABLE FEAST OF PITCHING WONDERS. Scherzer went the full 9 innings. He allowed a total of four hits, only one of which went for extra bases (a Delmon Young double). He only gave up one walk. He only gave up one run. He struck out nine. It only took him 106 pitches to accomplish all of this.

It was a fantastic outing. It was the kind of outing that makes the fans swoon, definitely another love-letter-worthy game. It was, in fact, the kind of outing that we like to imagine Justin Verlander might still have if he could just remember how to reign in his pitch counts.

Liriano was basically just as good (five hits, one walk, seven Ks, no runs over 7 innings), but not quite as efficient (104 pitches through 7). And by the time Scherzer’s day was done, that one run didn’t make much difference, because Jhonny Peralta had made some scoring happen and Scherzer was guaranteed a no-decision at the absolute least.

He got the very least.

Sigh. Poor Maxwell. He deserved something better. Pitching like that, he really, REALLY deserved something more. But it was not to be. Partly this is the fault of the bats, and partly it is the fault of Ryan Perry, but we are not talking about that. Only Scherzer. Our wonderful and wonderfully screwed Max Scherzer.

In any event, this is what I feel about the Twinkies after these past two games:


6 responses to “Max Scherzer pitches like a baseball god, gets nothing.

  1. I really hope that the M stands for MacScherzer.

  2. //(Anyone know what the ‘M’ stands for?)//

    That’s what I’ve been wondering. I hope it’s Maximilian, personally. I’m thinking of asking Will Rhymes on Twitter.

  3. Some thoughts:

    1. That Twinkie illustration is truly horrifying.
    3. Max Scherzer should be allowed to, like, beat the shit out of Ryan Perry in the showers or something after a fiasco like this.
    4. Will Rhymes has Twitter!

    The end.

  4. Indeed Will Rhymes does have Twitter! This is his page:
    Such a good outing by Max, WASTED! Ugh I wanted to cry…

  5. Poor Max! Does he have to pick up a bat himself? Maybe Leyland should have left him in there for the 10th, let him get to a truly Verlanderian 130 pitches.

    You know, I haven’t seen the ‘M’ explained anywhere. Maybe it’s like Harry S. Truman?

    That twinkie is gross… much like the Twinkies.

  6. At one point during the game, Rod said the Twins had definitely found the “Remedy for Success” in drafting and developing young talent. I was hoping that was so.

    …But, apparently not.

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