Why isn’t it baseball season yet?


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Kind of starting to lose it over here. I need spring, but really I need BASEBALL.

Right now is the worst. All the football that I care about is over. I guess there’s still hockey and basketball going on, but I can’t make myself care about them the way I care about baseball and football. Sure, Spring Training starts soon, but we’re still a ways off from actual baseball games. I can only get so invested in Spring Training. It’s a nice sign of AlmostBaseball but mostly it’s just a bunch of guys running drills and not caring about the soft games they’re playing and spewing forth an endless stream of cliches and boring quotes. Maybe someone will grant us good quotes. Who’s a likely candidate, Phil Coke? Let’s have daily Coke quotes, Detroit media. Do this for us, The People.

Mostly I spend Spring Training worrying about someone getting injured and checking out everyone’s new facial/head hair configurations and hoping Scott Pickens brings his St. Bernard in to work again and one of the news photogs takes some photos. It’s not the same as real baseball. There is no World Baseball Classic this year. In terms of my job I guess it’s good that I won’t be waking up at 4 am to watch Tokyo Dome games, but in terms of my baseball-watching happiness, this is not a good thing.

I guess I’m just going to ramble here for a bit because IT IS NOT BASEBALL SEASON YET.

The snow is piled up higher than my head, literally. Right now it’s freeze-raining on top of these giant snow piles, so we can look forward to the massive ice structures that will develop overnight. Roads are narrowed to a ridiculous degree and every drive is a potential death-defying spinout joy. I had to drive into the city a few days ago and I’m still traumatized. Will this all melt by the time the season starts? It seems doubtful, especially since the season technically starts in March.

Look at Paws. Look at him flying through the sky on a trail of spring light and baseball flowers. This is what is happening in my brain right now. Note also his hat. I wish to wear that hat again. But right now I can only wear winter hats, because otherwise my ears and possibly my brain will freeze.

WHERE IS MY BASEBALL

Expect some more drawings and doodles over the next few days, as I sit here hemmed in by ice and snow and my own slowly unraveling mind.

13 responses to “Why isn’t it baseball season yet?

  1. Ditto.

  2. That’s the springiest thing I’ve seen all day.

  3. Yes!!! I’m from Michigan and it’s been snowing nonstop since 6:30 last night. I’m sooo afraid to go outside. I NEED BASEBALL!! Also, would you be against me using one of your AMAZING cartoons for a profile picture on Facebook or something??

  4. Caribbean League, peoples! ESPN Deportes.

  5. I’ve been antsy for the Tigers, as well, so I’ve been looking through my TigerFest pictures from this year until Spring Training starts, and I get to see the Tigers Photo Day Pictures on Getty Images

  6. I’m ready for baseball and lucky for me I’m in central FL. I already visited fantasy camp since my Dad did it this year and LOVED it. In about 3 weeks baseball will officially be starting here and I can’t wait.

    P.S. To all you northerners it was like 80 today and yet I wish I was playing in the snow.

    • Playing in the snow is fine… it’s driving in it, and shoveling it, that aren’t as fun. Plus at this point it’s accumulated enough to start caving in people’s roofs, which is definitely on the Not Fun side of the equation.

      That said, without the ice and excessive snow, I’d still rather it be 30º than 80º. :)

  7. THE SNOW IS TOO DAMNED HIGH!!!

  8. I thought getting MLB network would be the answer… but all they do this time of year is run Yankee-laden countdown lists that do more to raise my blood pressure than alleviate my hunger for baseball.

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