now we begin the Falling Asleep During Baseball Times

photo by Samara Pearlstein

Falling asleep. Bullets from notes now, maybe cartoons tomorrow. If nothing else, there really should be a cartoon of Coco Crisp’s hair out there. But seriously, I am falling asleep. Sleep. Mmmmmm sleeeeeeep.

–Phil Coke looked so good in this one. It almost makes me nervous, how good he was. Like, can we really trust it? Seven innings, three hits, two walks, zero runs. Two Ks. Ninety-four pitches. Oh, and the win, like that matters. The A’s looked lost against him. Phil Coke!

–Mario made a Coke Zero reference, now nobody else has to. Please.

–Coco Crisp’s hair is seriously spectacular at this point in time. And huge. Mostly huge.

–The bullpen worked precisely as it was supposed to. With the Tigers up by three or less, Benoit came in to pitch a scoreless 8th and Papa Grande pitched a scoreless ninth. Three up, three down each. AS IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS.

–The A’s were wearing their yellow jerseys, which actually didn’t look too bad with the white pants and dark green belts. They would have looked better with the green high socks/yellow sanis combo but I don’t think anyone was wearing their socks up. A damn shame.

–Victor Martinez caught Coke, and he had his away gear on. He is still using Mizuno so his chest protector looks just like this:

but the red bit is navy blue, and the blue bit is NEON ORANGE. I love it so hard. More orange, more, MOAR!

(Victor’s home gear, of course, has the blue in the middle and white on the sides. It also looks pretty sharp, but it’s not as tackytastic as the neon orange. Alex Avila has Nike gear which is mostly navy and boring.)

–Speaking of Victor, he also took a foul tip off the replicators in this one. So if he’s sitting tomorrow with mysterious lower body soreness or something, now you know the truth.

Important Fact of the Day: Mario Impemba used to have a cat named Weezy, after the character on The Jeffersons.

–I like how Ramon Santiago gives himself the fake half-sleeves, between the wrist tape and the wide sweatbands on both arms. He ends up so covered that he may as well just get a longsleeve shirt and cut the elbows out of it.

–Al Alburquerque has declared that he does in fact want to be called ‘Al’, not ‘Alberto’. Fine by me. In related news, I will never ever be able to spell the city name correctly again.

–There were a couple of really nice, Rod-exciting defensive plays from Brandon Inge in this one. He also had two walks. I can hear you revving up your engines of derision, haters, but you just go ahead and spew those words elsewhere.

–Rod really liked Oakland reliever Tyson Ross. He referred to his ‘large frame’ several times, and kept referencing his height (6’6). Pure Rod-bait.

–Gio Gonzalez actually looked pretty darn good too, but he and his batting teammates were just… no match… for the pitching might of, um… Phil Coke. Yeah. It’s as weird to type as it is to read. I would like to get used to typing stuff like that, though, so let’s work on repeating this sort of thing. You hear, Mr. Coke?

–Oakland only managed three hits all night, and two of them were from Conor Jackson the Single N’d. They only had two walks all game long and both of those came from Daric Barton. You may search for meaning in this, as sifting through tea leaf scraps at the bottom of an emptied cup, trying to see prophetic shapes.

–Santiago was 2-for-3 with an RBI. JHonny Peralta was 0-for-2 but walked three times. In fact most of the Tigers were taking walks left and right, which, as you all know, is most rare indeed for Detroit batters. Strange things were afoot in the Coliseum.



11 responses to “now we begin the Falling Asleep During Baseball Times

  1. SIX WALKS from Gio Gonzalez. SIX WALKS. AND NOTHING.

    But yay, Phil and the Tigers win!

  2. So much fun to win on Tiger Pride Day. Met Phil Coke’s dad, who is hilarious, and told him to please tell Phil, MORE LIKE THIS PLEASE. Wait’ll you see the shirt he was wearing (will post on facebook … sometime). We had lots of Tigery brethren to have fun with. Also fun: trying to hand out Tigers-themed cookies (blue & orange M&Ms instead of chocolate chips) to players before the game. Even when they say no they are ridiculously polite and usually give you a lovely smile. Teehee. Must make sure Brandon gets some tomorrow. (Hit AJax and Brad Thomas today.) Watching Papa Grande live was a TRIP! I love watching him praise the lawn elves or whatever between batters.

    But oh, the gloriousness that is Brandon Inge. In person with the high high socks. (A’s, TAKE NOTES. Idiot pajama pants lookin’ team.) Tigers. Win. Lovvvvve.

    • The crowd was so small, I was hoping I’d see you all game! They might have had a shot that I missed because I was falling asleep, though. KEEP BRINGING THEM LUCK

      • We’ll do our best!!! There should be four of us tonight, either right behind the Tigers dugout (we were second row last night!) if we’re with Rod or Anthony, or behind the bullpen if we’re with Mark. Yay for Coliseum ushers who love Tiger Pride Day.

  3. Did anybody notice there were about 200 fans in the whole ballpark?

  4. I watched this game on and was stuck with Oakland’s announcers last night. They had a few glorious discussions about Papa Grande that only you would truly appreciate.

    First, Valverde was taking plenty of time to take off his warm-ups and adjust his glasses before he started to throw in the bullpen. The announcers playfully made fun of him, joked (tongue in cheek) that Detroit fans must think he’s the definition of cool right now, then began giggling uncontrollably at their own jokes.

    Later, when Valverde struck out the first batter he faced, he did his usual hop-skip-and-a-jump celebratory dance. The announcers had never seen it before and said “He might be have pulled something there, I wonder if he’s hurt?” When the trainers didn’t come out, they questioned whether he was hurt or just messing around.

    After Valverde struck out the next batter and did the same dance, the announcers busted up laughing, then conceded “Well, he definitely was’nt hurt.”

    You should really try to catch a clip of the whole exchange, my paraphrasing doesn’t do it justice.

    • I mean… Papa Grande IS the height of cool. It’s not a joke, the dude is rad as hell. Have you seen his STYLE, Oakland announcers? Have you seen his WEBSITE? Have you seen his Exiting the Bullpen Routine? Pure splendor in the form of a closer…

  5. The Martinez Family Jewels


    That is all…

    • I love Mario’s comment when Martinez was shown doubled over………. ” You know what happened. ”
      Replicators………..Priceless Sam. I LOL’d. Anyone hear what Price and Dickerson had to say about it. Jim usually has some catcheresque observation.

      • I was surprised that Rod didn’t use the situation as a “teaching moment”. You know, one of those, “for all you young players out there, this is the reason you wear protection…” kind of deals.

  6. Maybe it was just sleep deprivation, but I kind of felt like last night’s game took place in the Twilight Zone.

    Phil Coke throws our first shut-out of the season… our closer has more wins than our ace… We couldn’t seem to take advantage of a pitcher (Gio) who seemed to want us to win for six innings, and then all of the sudden, we kick it into gear… I will believe anything at this point.

    And, by the way, I am STILL finding myself humming “But that’s just the way things go / In Albuquerque / Albuquerque…” at every mention of our new Al.

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