illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Magglio Ordonez has gone on the DL with ‘a hurty ankle’ (medical term). Surprise! Wait, no. The opposite of surprise.
It is, of course, his SURGICALLY REPAIRED ANKLE and it’s been bothering him to greater and lesser degrees basically all season; the Tigers were hoping he could work through it and play the soreness out of it, or something. He just couldn’t get it right. Rather than continue to watch him hobble around the stadium, and fail to get hits because he can’t push off in the batter’s box, they decided to stick him on the DL, get his limbs looked at, and see if some rest does him any good.
He’s hitting .172 so, you know… probably for the best.
Andy Dirks was called up to take his place, although he didn’t play in the Friday night game. He’s a left-handed outfielder, he’s 25, he was hitting pretty well in Toledo, and he went to Wichita State, which makes him a Shocker. He is not going to be Magglio-at-100%, but it would be difficult for him to be much worse than current-Magglio, so his presence will most likely be a positive thing.
Anyways, I had to make an ‘Andy Dirks’ category in case he sticks sooner rather than later and I need to start making posts about things that he’s doing. I have so many Andy categories now. Andrew Miller, Andy Oliver, Andy Van Hekken, Andy Van Slyke, plus Dirks. Andrew Miller isn’t an Andy but he could have been, so I’m including him.
About that Friday game: JUSTIN VERLANDER. It’s not enough for him to throw a no-hitter, oh my goodness no, he has to go out in his next start and no-hit those poor fools too for almost 6 innings. He had more strikeouts this time (7) but he was still relatively efficient, throwing 105 pitches to get through 8 innings. This is firmly within the realm of the acceptable.
Is there anything more splendid than Justin Verlander’s pitching when Justin Verlander is ON the way that he’s been ON lately? I think not. We are not worthy enough to gaze upon his pitching.