ignore everything else and send Alex Avila to the All Star Game

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

I don’t care who else gets your votes. I don’t care about any other positions. But have you seen what is happening in the AL catcher’s race for the All Star spot this year?

Until recently, Alex Avila was in third. He was behind Joe Mauer, who has played a grand total of 9 games in 2011, and Russell Martin, who is batting .232. Now Avila has passed Mauer, but he is still trailing Martin by a significant margin.

Let me spell that out for you.

Russell Martin is batting .232. His OPS is .767. He has 39 hits so far this season, 15 of them for extra bases. Thirty-four dudes have stolen bases off of him, and he has caught 12, for a CS% of .261.

Alex Avila is batting .304. His OPS is .917. He has 58 hits so far this season, 26 of them for extra bases. Thirty dudes have stolen bases off of him, and he has caught 20, for a CS% of .400. Avila has also caught a no-hitter already this year, for whatever that is worth.

Right now, at this very moment in time that we are experiencing together– you, me, Russell Martin, Alex Avila, Paws– Alex Avila is better at being a catcher than Russell Martin is. It is not even close. It is inarguable. It is a FACT of SCIENCE and OBSERVATION and also BEARDINESS. I’m not saying that Russell Martin is a terrible person or anything, but Alex Avila is better at baseball right now. He is. HE IS. Open your eyes and bathe your optic nerves in the pure, clarifying light that is Alex Avila’s supremacy.


How can this be possible? Guys: .232 vs .304. Is this some sort of massive practical joke? Is there a glitch in the online voting system that is erroneously rerouting thousands of innocent Alex Avila votes into the Russell Martin coffers?

No. It’s just the Yankee Factor. That’s it. Russell Martin is leading the voting not because he is a better hitter than Alex Avila, not because he’s a better catcher than Alex Avila– he leads the voting simply because he plays for the New York Yankees and Alex Avila is a Detroit Tiger. That is IT. That is the ONLY reason why this travesty, this parody of the already-parodic All Star Game is being played out before us.

Vote for Alex Avila as if your very life depended upon it. You get 25 votes per email address. You all know how to set up extra email addresses, I assume. It does not take long to vote 25 times; MLB has streamlined the process this year. Vote the full 25. Use your secondary email and vote 50 times. Make extra email accounts and vote 200 times.

Whatever it takes. Make Alex Avila an All Star. For Truth. For Justice. For THE VERY SOUL OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.


14 responses to “ignore everything else and send Alex Avila to the All Star Game

  1. He really deserves it. We are lucky to have a 24 year old catcher who has truly come into his own this season.

  2. I voted my max votes on one email address the other day, and when I went today to re-vote, it had SAVED MY SELECTIONS! There is no reason to not vote eleventy million times when you only have to choose a new email address and enter some numbers. DO IT, people!

  3. Alex Avila’s BEARD is a better catcher than Russell Martin’s entire person. Voting now.

  4. I think we should do our best to vote in Miguel Cabrera and Victor too. But I have no problem making Avila a priority. It is, as you say, the rightest of right things.

  5. TigersFan81371

    Cool artwork. I posted a link to this on my facebook page and encouraged my fellow Tigers fans on the friends list to do the same.

  6. It turns out that Lowe’s has ballot boxes in their stores! I took a stack of ballots home to return later…anything for Alex and justice!

  7. I made an Avila picture of my own.

  8. I love alex avila and the entire avila family and his stubbley goodness. I cant wait to see his cousin! Aaaaaavilaaaaaaa4eva!!!!!!!

  9. There are too many Yankee fans voting. That’s the problem.
    I’ve used all four of my email accounts, and both of my parents voted, I’m trying to get more people to vote for Alex, he deserves it way more than a Yankees. :/
    Remember how we got Brandon Inge to the all star game? We can do it for Alex Avila!

  10. Pingback: Interleague play and the All-Star Game, or, I’m a total sucker « No Run Support

  11. Pingback: Game 2011.76: Diamondbacks at Tigers

  12. You guys are right, but am I the only one who thinks peralta is getting screwed being in 5th place at SS??? add him to the campaign!!!

    • Ah, but the difference is that Avila has a chance to actually move into first, although I admit that it is difficult to overcome the sheer number and irrational determination of the Yankee Horde. If Jhonny is in 5th place right now, he’s not gonna move up enough to matter, no matter how much he might deserve it.

  13. I love how Verlander is using this pic of Avila as his avatar on Twitter. You rule!

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