the Society to End the Abuse of Alex Avila

illustrations by Samara Pearlstein

Friends, citizens, fellow felines, I must bring this to your attention. Are you tired of seeing a foul tip by the opposing team result in a scene like the above?

Are you tired of seeing Alex Avila grimace in manly pain as his mask gets knocked off, or he gets a bat to the helmet, or yet another foul ball goes screaming off his instep? Does it sadden you to see this noble catcher, a true national treasure, threatened by carelessness, incompetence– even sometimes malice? Does your heart cry out in sympathy, as indeed it must for all intelligent, caring, red-blooded baseball fans?

Did you know that the All Star catcher is an endangered species? It’s a fact.

Don’t let this majestic creature disappear in a flurry of bruises and semi-concussions. Take notice. Take action. Raise awareness. Join the Society to End the Abuse of Alex Avila today.

(SEAAA, pronounced see-AAAAAHHH, like the body of water followed by a hearty beardy-man scream)

Two more things:

July 27th was Max Scherzer’s birthday. He turned 27 years old. July 27th was also Dave Dombrowski’s birthday! He turned 55 years old. Unfortunately the Tigers could not get a win for Max and Mr. D on their special day (extra-unfortunately since Max pitched relatively well, and was stuck with the loss). To make up for this oversight in some small way, I’ve given them a bouncy castle.

Everyone likes a bouncy castle.

And here is what I think about every time I have to watch John Danks pitch:

The Dank Danks in its reeking Chicago-pinstriped cave. A most horrible lurking creature indeed.

ETA: Oh, I nearly forgot. ROAR OF THE TIGERS WILL BE AT COMERICA FOR THE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY GAMES. This weekend! Weather permitting! On Saturday I will be wearing a 2009 Brandon Inge All Star Game jersey (haters gonna hate, etc). On Sunday I will be wearing this shirt. If you see me, feel free to say hi. Or stare awkwardly. You know, whatever.

13 responses to “the Society to End the Abuse of Alex Avila

  1. ivantopumpyouup

    I love the bouncy castle. I want one!

    I almost got a ticket for the Sunday game but talked myself out of it because it wasn’t going to be the Haren/Verlander matchup I wanted. Ah well.


  2. The SPCA(A) should do something about this. Perhaps you could work with them, as a sort of joint venture?

  3. Sam, if I’m at the game on Saturday I’ll look for you. And if u want to take pictures of my baseball car, I can arrange that too!

  4. Love the shirts! :D

  5. Oh my. That bouncy castle birthday cartoon is an instant classic.

  6. I am running out of ways to say how awesome your posts and pictures are.

  7. freakin’ awesome shirt where did you get it? I feel that even though Jackson hit in the only run for the tigers ( homer!) I still tag him for that loss because he struck out 3 freakin’ times before the 3rd inning and for who ever was up with the bases loaded or with 2 men on. :( on the other hand the suite was awesome except i was almost covered by wrong sox fans, who by the way are really anoying this guy shouted the only thing worse than a Cubs fan is a Det. fan. I was gonna say only real men are Tigers fans but the gates opened.

  8. Sorry 5th inning not 3rd my bad.

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