Seriously, Brad Penny is starting to loathe the sun.

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

At this point, the sun is just mocking him. Brad Penny goes out to pitch, and the sun beats mercilessly down upon him. He can hear it laughing at him from way up there in the sky. Bradleeeyyyyyyy, it says. Bradley Wayyyyyyyne. I’m going to beat on all of yooooouuuuuu.

The sun is a real jerk, and Brad Penny knows this now. He knows it all too well.

Here is what Victor Martinez had to say after the game:

To be honest with you, I’ve been catching Brad for a while, and I don’t remember [him having] this kind of a start that he [had] today. The scoreboard really doesn’t say, not even close, how well he pitched today. He had great stuff. His fastball was exploding pretty good with the curveball and slider. The change, split, everything was great.
Chris Vannini/

OK. Yet, somehow, Penny gave up 5 runs (4 earned) in 6.2 innings. He gave up 11 hits and allowed 3 walks and he struck out no one. He had apparently awesome stuff, but that awesome stuff translated into a numerical Start of Shame. Oh, and he got tagged with the loss, bringing his record for the season thus far down to 7-9.

Blame Victor’s pitch calls? Blame the Rangers bats? Blame the Tigers bats for not helping him out? Blame Alexi Ogando for making it seemingly impossible for the Tigers bats to make contributions? Blame Brad Penny’s brain for failing to effectively harness the power of his arm on a day when it was in great form?

No. I blame the sun. Deep down inside his heart, Brad Penny does too.


16 responses to “Seriously, Brad Penny is starting to loathe the sun.

  1. … Blame Jim Leyland for sitting out half the team. I understand that guys need their rest, but Alex, Austin, Maggs, and Jhonny all at once?

  2. ivantopumpyouup

    He looks like he is suffering nobly!

  3. Surprisingly, Brad has had a decent year. Read this DNR post and see for yourself:

  4. I noticed that they’re skipping Penny in the rotation coming up, but of course there’s no day game in the Cleveland series… when I saw that, I immediately thought of you. :)

  5. Brad Penny for Prez!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ( just joking)

  6. #1 tiger fan since 07 please reply

  7. you better be joking don’t be dumb and vote Bachmen for prez! or however you spell it

    • TFS07, Jackalope, are you guys 13 year old boys? Because that’s the only way this bickering makes sense. I moderate very, very little in these comment sections, but when ‘ur gay’ comments start appearing, they will be deleted with disgust.

      If you aren’t 13 year old boys– seriously, knock it off, it makes you look ridiculous.

      If you ARE– kids, quit that foolishness and go back to your homework.

  8. Yeah sorry but we ain’t kids we’re men in training

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