The Royals are no friend of Betemit’s, plus your first September cats.


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

The game is tied. There is a man at second base. Alex Avila is up, with Wilson Betemit batting behind him. The Royals take a moment to think about this.

Wilson wasn’t a bad hitter with us, they think. He was all .280ish and sometimes he hit for extra bases and whatnot. But Alex Avila… that cat is terrifying. Anyways, we know the ways of Wilson Betemit, for he used to be one of our royal family. The Royals decide to walk Avila to get to Betemit.

THEY DECIDE WRONG! WILSON BETEMIT HAS HIS ROYAL REVENGE! DOUBLE TO RIGHT, ONE RUN SCORES, almost two as Avila was thrown out at the plate. In any event, the Tigers scrape a slim lead, and after going back-and-forth all day (thanks in no small part to the efforts of Austin Jackson on one side and Eric Hosmer on the other) they finally manage to hold on for the win. Disrespect Wilson Betemit at your own risk, especially when you are Kansas City.

Important Insect Updates

First: this may have been part of the reason why the Tigers won yesterday. I received an email from a Tigers employee at the start of the game, containing the following image:

THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S A MANTIS. Apparently it was in the tunnel behind home plate, scouting the pitchers. I don’t KNOW that it interacted with the Tigers players at all, but the fact that it was observed and photographed by Tigers personnel was surely working in our favor. This is serious business, folks. Mantis business.

Also, the flying swarm was back in Cleveland.

It’s September call-up time!

The first round of Toledo refugees are here. Thus far the Tigers have welcomed back


all photos by Samara Pearlstein

And right-handed reliever Luis Marte, but I don’t have any photos of him.

11 responses to “The Royals are no friend of Betemit’s, plus your first September cats.

  1. I’m starting to get a little worried about the mantises… I don’t remember this at all last year. It’s like they’re getting ready to take over or something. Maybe they step in when Selig steps down…

  2. Welcome back Will Rhymes!!!

  3. As long as the mantises take out the Yankees, I don’t care.

  4. Hmm, I saw a mantis climbing outside my bedroom window today. I wonder what that means.

    I still wish the Answer Hamsters had the power. They might be rodents, but they’re definitely cuter than preying mantises!

  5. OK still don’t like Betty Meat I mean no one wants betted on meat that means somethings WRONG with it! and what the hecks up with the mantises or however it’s spelled!

  6. It’s the season of the mantis!

  7. oh god! Carlos Guillen. take out your wallet, dave dombroski, its time to waste your money

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