illustration by Samara Pearlstein
The Tigers are division champs and are going to the playoffs (ooo, still fun to type). The Lions are 2-0. The Wolverines are 3-0 and Denard Robinson has the best smile in all of college football. You had better enjoy the heck out of this right now.
Yesterday was especially enjoyable. The Lions beat the Chiefs. They beat the Chiefs 48-3. I mean, if you are not a longtime Lions fan, you do not understand. Even when the Lions did get one of their rare wins in the recent past, it was NOT a 48-3 blowout. That’s the sort of thing that happened TO the Lions.
But the Chiefs committed and were called for all sorts of stupid penalties (this used to be the Lions’ favorite thing to do! [actually, as long as Gosder Cherilus is on the team, it will be to some extent. But they were clean compared to KC yesterday.]) They turned the ball over 7 billion times. They were unable to stop the juggernaut (!) that was the Detroit offense (!!). Matthew Stafford threw the ball where it needed to go and, more often than not, it got there! He was able to come out and watch the backups get some reps in the 4th quarter! The crowd was even able to get in one resounding SUUUUUUUHHHH at the end of the game.
Roary got completely taken out by a Chiefs player on the sideline and popped right back up, while the Chief had to be carted away with some sort of horrific-looking knee injury. It was that sort of a game.
Meanwhile, the Tigers (AL Central division champion Tigers!) handled the A’s. They had a hangover loss on Saturday, but bounced back strong thanks to the magical wonderbeast that is Justin Verlander. And, you know, some other cats too.
Guillermo Moscoso, whom you may remember we traded away for the privilege of experiencing Gerald Laird, had a no-hitter going for much of the game. Austin Jackson ruined that with a home run, the rudest sort of no-hitter ruination. Brandon Inge later pinch hit and doubled in a run, just to make the haters choke on their bile a little. Ramon Santiago sacrificed in the third run, because why not.
But it was really the Verlander (and Valverde) show, as per usual. Justin went 8 innings and gave up 3 hits (all singles) and 3 walks with 6 Ks. He got his 24th win. Justin Verlander has more wins than Rick Porcello has years of life. Papa Grande got his 46th save, keeping his streak perfect.
Savor this, Detroit. Bask in it. There’s no telling how much longer it will last.