Stupid Awards Season

Well, here we are. The postseason is over. The preseason is many months away. Roar of the Tigers has stopped watching TV in the name of actually (gasp!) doing work. This season… what season is this? It is a season constructed by Major League Baseball in an attempt to appease us, to give us something to talk about that isn’t trades involving Melky Cabrera or the sad state of Oriole affairs. Yes, we are firmly in the midst of Stupid Awards Season.

Stupid Awards Season asks you to care deeply about these poorly determined awards. And you want to care! You want to care because you want your favorite super wicked awesome baseball player to be recognized by everyone for his super wicked awesomeness. At the same time, you don’t want to care, because you (if you are a sane, moderately educated baseball fan) recognize that these awards are at some essential level mostly what Jim Leyland would call, ahem, horsesh!t.


drawings by Samara Pearlstein

Miguel Cabrera wins the batting title. Miguel Cabrera does not win the Silver Slugger. I would tell you how this makes sense, but I cannot, because it actually makes no sense whatsoever. Adrian Gonzalez is a good hitter and all, but Miguel was better than him at basically everything you can legally do with a bat in the game of baseball this year.

It’s ok, because Miguel loves his own bat and has no need for that stupid silver hardware, but it’s the principle of the thing.


Alex Avila wins the Silver Slugger at catcher. Did he catch more games than anyone else in the universe? Yes. Does this mean that, in my biased little fan-heart, I think he deserves all the awards ever? Yes, yes, of course. Were his overall numbers better than, saaaaay, those of Mike Napoli, who basically hit better across the board and went to the World Series to boot? Erm. Well.

But, you see: this we like. Alex Avila’s durability and (perhaps more importantly) dogged tenacity convince voters that he deserves a metal stick more than Mike Napoli’s 1.046 OPS does. Stupid Awards Season!

Then Austin Jackson fails to win a Gold Glove. Okay. The fact that I wanted him to win is almost certainly, in this case, the tiny Paws in my brain guiding my thoughts. And again, it’s not as if he desperately needs it to tell us all that sometimes he makes plays so good that Rod Allen loses his mind and control of his vocal cords. Just more Stupid Awards Season nonsense.

We are still waiting on the MVP results. But Justin Verlander did get another award recently. It was Player of the Year (or something?) in the Players Choice Awards (or something?). These are even MORE made-up than Silver Sluggers and Gold Gloves. They are nice because they involve charity, but basically they are a measure of how much a particular dude has impressed all the other dudes in the MLBPA in any given year.

Justin Verlander frightens his opposition and his stunning good looks have charmed his peers. He commands respect and he’s popular. This particular Stupid Award is perfect for him, and he has duly received it. Woo, yay, etc.

If a Tiger does not win the MVP award, it will not matter in the least. The award is not strictly based on merit. At root it is meaningless. But that won’t stop our righteous and strident indignation. Something to look forward to! Thanks, Stupid Awards Season!

13 responses to “Stupid Awards Season

  1. Serious question: Why are postseason awards stupid, but All-Star voting (equally meaningless) is important?

    • Who said it was important? I thought we had all firmly and loudly agreed that the ASG voting system is ridiculous…

      It’s only important in the sense that it makes players feel good about themselves. And it’s ‘important’ because it’s an incentive in some player contracts (so are Gold Gloves and Silver Sluggers, for that matter). We (as fans) behave as though it’s important for the same reason we care about Stupid Awards Season, even against our better judgment– we want everyone to show the dudes we love that same love.

  2. I really thought Alex stood a better chance of a Gold Glove than a Silver Slugger. I also thought Jim Leyland’s umpire tirade was better than Ozzie Guillen’s in the MLB Network Countdown of the best 25 ejections of 2011. (Somehow they decided Ozzie’s was #1, Skip’s #2, and Joe Madden’s #3. What were they thinking?)

    Okay, maybe I should stay away from MLB Network during the off-season so I don’t get angry at them for their pointless, but somehow anti-Tiger-biased countdowns all the time. But I need my baseball fix! Where else do you get it in November?

    • I’m not a Tigers fan, but I have to admit that I LOVED Leyland’s tirade! Hilarious, and yes, funnier than Ozzie (who I don’t find funny anyway).

      • Joe Madden’s was better too! He went around and “threw out” all of the umpires. Mature, cool, calm and collected Joe Madden. And the best part was, the Rays were playing the White Sox that game and Ozzie got to comment on his technique.

  3. btw, hanging around the locked gate here, is this where I register my “Blue was robbed” complaint. Nobody seems at home.

  4. Jackson losing out to Ellsbury is a travesty. The Fielding Bible ranks Jackson as the best center fielder in baseball

  5. i don’t care how good of a defensive player Jackson is anyway did you see him in the playoffs he sucked! anyway he’ll have to hit to get this award and don’t blame me blame the MLB actually beter yet blame JACKSON that idiot

  6. yup if only he could dive. Sigh if only Rafael Belly man could teach him how we all know Lamont couldn’t he’d just bounce off the grass sigh……..

    • Leyalnd would like have some kind of lung stroke if thats possible but nothing is stopping Brookens. He was a very good defensive player in his day

  7. if only we can get rid of Gene Lamont

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