illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Cabrera will get a year of probation, a 6 month license suspension, and around $1400 in fines. He’ll have to take a couple ‘guys this is a bad thing, don’t do it’ classes. The plea allows the charge of resisting arrest to be dropped, and Miggy will avoid jail time. He will also have all the court stuff behind him before Spring Training 2012 gets started. All things considered he is getting off lightly.
KIDS! Let this be a lesson to you! Don’t drink and drive! Do not disappoint Officer Paws, arbiter of peace and justice, guardian of the streets! Because, look: you aren’t Miguel Cabrera.
You get pulled over with a bottle of Jack in the front seat next to you, you yell at some cops, you probably not going to get the kindly treatment afforded to a superstar first baseman. Your license gets suspended for 6 months, you are not going to have your job paying for someone to chauffeur you around: yer takin’ the bus, buddy. And while $1400 is the change that Miggy digs out of his couch cushions, it’s probably not quite such a trivial amount for you or I.
Learn from this, cats and kittens! Do not let Miguel Cabrera’s idiotic example have been in vain! Separate your drinking and your driving. It will be better for everyone. And Officer Paws will be proud.