illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Victor Martinez has torn his ACL while conditioning last week. He could miss the entire 2012 season.
My initial reaction was several paragraphs of the word NO. Nooooo noooooo NoooOOOOooooOooooo no no no no NO NO NO noooooOOOOoooOooOoOOoo. And so on. I spare you the paragraph treatment but know that that is what is going on inside my head right now.
There goes our DH… our protection for Miguel Cabrera… one of a very few anchors in an already-suspect lineup…
And what of Little Victor? If Big Victor is not around the team because he’s spending the entire season getting surgery and lying around recovering and rehabbing and and and (*sob!*)… then there is no reason for Little Victor to be hanging around the clubhouse, or taking BP, or doing any one of the million things he did last year to make life a little more joyous at Comerica and on the road. I’M NOT OK WITH THIS.
Now the Tigers need a DH. How ridiculous is that? Last year we had like fifteen separate dudes who could have been the DH on most other teams, but we had to watch their decrepit bodies struggle gamely in the field because there is only so much injured-old-dude-hiding one AL team can do. Now who do we use? Andy Dirks? Paws almighty. He’s not even broken, and his bat is not that big.
Do we re-sign Carlos or Magglio? Wait guys, come back, we know you are made of injury and your muscle fibers will snap at the slightest spring breeze, but we have room for you now! This is a real thing that has happened to our team! (note: do not actually re-sign Carlos or Magglio)
What does it mean that I already had this image sitting in my Photobucket?? Was this horrible event PRESAGED? By TERRIBLE CARTOONS? Oh man Universe I am SO SORRY.