Miguel Cabrera is Good at Baseball, episode #300

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Let’s talk about things that are awesome, shall we?

–Miguel Cabrera hit the 300th home run of his illustrious career on Sunday. He actually hit two home runs in the same game because he is just that Good at Baseball. Relatedly, you can click today’s drawing to see it bigger.

–Quintin Berry and Brennan Boesch also homered. It was an inspiring day for baseball flight enthusiasts.

–The Tigers stole two whole bases in this series (Jackson today, Miggy yesterday), and nobody got caught stealing.

–FredFred absolutely dominated the balls out of the Wrong Sox on Saturday. We are talking about 8 innings of one-run, 5-hit, zero extra-base-hit, zero walk domination. We are talking about Kevin Youkilis lying down on the dugout bench and whimpering a little. And while he does so, FredFred smiles on the mound and flexes like a really skinny prizefighter, just because he can.

–Justin Verlander shattered Gordon Beckham’s bat on a checked swing with a fastball more powerful than a highly-pressurized firehose of lava. Never seen a firehose spraying lava? Wrong, you totally have, because you have seen Justin Verlander pitch.

–Mrs. Phil Coke had a baby girl and Phil Coke said this about his wife:

“She’s phenomenal. She’s so, so tough,” Coke said. “She makes me feel like such a girl. But, then again, if I felt like a girl, I’m tough, too. But she’s tougher than me. It was unbelievable.”

–U guyz Gerald Laird is batting .299, no joke, not kidding, you can look it up on the internet.

–Eight SuperBestFriends hits total in the series.

–Jacob Turner finally got his first big league win. It was not exactly a quality start in the strict definition of the term– Turner allowed 3 runs and 7 hits in 5.1 innings– but it was solid, and it was plenty on a day when every cat who felt the urge to hit a home run did so.




13 responses to “Miguel Cabrera is Good at Baseball, episode #300

  1. I don’t want to be all bandwagony, but how can you not feel great about a team that can sweep the Wrong Sox? How can you not love Phil Coke? And His Brain? The woes of early summer seem oh so far away.

  2. Miguel Cabrera is on his way to Cooperstown. Love the way we are playing; let’s keep it going.

  3. What I particularly loved was that he didn’t linger on 299 for days, causing shpilkes for all and endless vacuous interview questions about it, no, he hit #300 on the VERY NEXT AT-BAT. Thanks Miguel!


    I love being able to interact on the internet with baseball friends during games. Twitter was nothing but “PLUNK HIM RICK! PLUNK HIM!” “GO AHEAD, YOUK, CHARGE THE MOUND AND LET HIM KICK YOUR ASS AGAIN!” while Porcello was pitching. It was so funny.

    I cannot see the shot of Gordon Beckham’s befuddled look after Justin Verlander DESTROYED his bat enough. Just too amazing.

    The sound of awe in Mario’s voice at the absolute moonshot that was Miggy’s 300th home run was delightful.

    I love this team so much and want to hug all of them. Even Ryan Raburn and Delmon Young – my baseball affection covers the entire roster. :)

    <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 3

  5. I barely remember being under 500

  6. Also, I love the doodle of Phil Coke with his new baby Cokelet.

    • Baby Cokelet! That cartoon absolutely captured that quote from Phil in visual form. Somehow I think Baby Mickenzie has Papa twisted around her little finger already.

  7. All this wonderful Tiger goodness, and you forgot to mention that our Quinton Berry can now buy his very own shareable Tiger jersey to share with family and friends!

  8. I seriously think a reporter should just constantly follow Phil Coke around and record what he says. His quotes are just amazing.

    I was watching MLB Network this afternoon and they said that it was “just stupid where that landed” about Miggy’s 300th. Not just 300, but 300 with style. I heart Miggy.

    Can we all stop for a moment and acknowledge that Laird is an invaluable part of this team right now and deserves a good amount of credit for where this they are right now? I haven’t heard any Laird hate flying around lately, which I guess is a start, but I think we could all express a little more Laird love.

  9. I agree on Laird. He has been good. I hope he is back next year.

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