illustration by Samara Pearlstein
It’s been quite some time since we last saw the tigerfly. That’s fine, that’s good, that is as it should be, because, as we all know, the tigerfly only emerges when the Tigers are dropping like flies. Look at his sad little face. That’s just terrible.
With the team involved in an epic struggle for playoff position, this is just about the time when the tigerfly is least welcome in Detroit, but here he is, buzzing past our ears, flying in our faces, making a fuzzy nuisance of himself. His victims:
Miguel Cabrera: sore/previously injured ankle.
Austin Jackson: sore ankle.
Alex Avila: out with ‘mild concussion symptoms’ after running into Prince Fielder with his face.
Quintin Berry: some variety of injured shoulder due to excessively enthusiastic outfield diving.
Max Scherzer: sore/’fatigued’ throwing shoulder, holy cats, holy cats, great and almighty Paws nooooooo (and I say this knowing full well that yesterday’s MRI revealed no structural damage).
Who else? I’m sure there are other tigerfly casualties out there that I just can’t think of right now because I’m so freaked out by the sight of Scherzer leaving the game early last night and the continued absence of Our Beardy Savior. You can’t even be mad! Avila was injured because Prince Fielder is a sturdy little mountain of a man-cat, and you cannot fault Prince Fielder for that, it is his very nature. Do you curse the couch when you break your toe against it? Well, yes, a little, and even more so if the couch has the theoretical ability to watch where it’s going and to decide which foul balls it will pursue and which it will leave to its catcher, but whatever, shut up.
Here’s something else that’s completely terrifying:
“I could feel my arm losing strength. I could feel I didn’t have the strength that I normally have.” That’s a quote from Max, after the game. If that doesn’t make you scream hysterically inside your own head, I’m sorry, but I do not understand you, friend.
It was already going to be difficult to make the playoffs, thanks in part to things the Tigers have done to themselves, and thanks in part to the continued (very rude) insistence on winning games on the part of the Wrong Sox. Those were already fairly substantial obstacles to overcome. It becomes significantly more difficult with the tigerfly sniping various key players from on high. Great. Splendid.