SWEET STABBY FREEDOM! Ugueth Urbina, as you all know, has been serving out a 14-year prison sentence in Venezuela since 2007 for attacking at least two of his employees with weaponry both bladed and flame-inducing. It has only been 5.5 years, but our old pal Ugie has been released! He’s free, free as the
birds Comerica seagulls!
How did he get out? ESPN sez “good behavior,” which probably means he didn’t stab any other prisoners while he was there. Good job, friend!
I should be able to say that there is not a whelk’s chance in a supernova that Mr. Urbina gets a job back in Major League Baseball. He has been completely out of the game, aside from Venezuelan prison baseball, for over 5 years. He’s 38. Even putting aside minor things like the whole stabbing-and-slicing-and-burning incident, he was having drinking/rage issues in the clubhouse some time beforehand (remember the Tigers Plane Shenanigans?). Realistically, he should not be coming back…
…but there’s always that one incredibly stupid but hopeful (/delusional) team out there willing to take a chance on yer average whelk. I mean, the Cubs exist in real life. We shouldn’t forget that.
Even while Ugie was incarcerated down south, we made sure that he was still in some capacity out and about and enjoying himself. He went to Florence, he went to Seattle, he went to the Midwest. The fourth installment of Where in the World is Ugueth Urbina? has been in the works since this summer– progress slowed considerably due to a hilariously horrible time-suck called Grad Skool– but, fear not!, it will not be scrapped even now that Ugie is back out amongst the masses. I plan to have it done before Spring Training. Maybe even in January. Brace yourselves.