illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Ladies! Gents! Cats of all descriptions! There is marvelous news!
Justin Verlander has apparently signed a 5-year contract extension, keeping him in Detroit through 2019, with an option for 2020.
The contract is, of course, absurdly expensive, but do you really care? I hate to answer for you, but no. No, you do not really care. You have Justin Verlander for the next five years. Every sort of objection is invalid.
Nuts to free agency. Nuts to the market. All hail the beautiful loving relationship between the Detroit Tigers and Justin Verlander, forever and ever, or at least half a decade, amen.
Roar of the Tigers 
Hooray!!!
Great news, and it is not my money. As a Tigers fan, I am thrilled: Justin deserves to retire wearing the Old English D.
Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sure our hitters are dancing in the streets over this. I wouldn’t want to have to face JV!