Category Archives: BlogNews

perplexing Tigers behavior continues, but this time we are happily perplexed

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

So the offense decided to come out to play today. They scored a grand total of ZERO runs on Friday and a grand total of NINETEEN runs on Saturday. Is Boof Bonser really that much worse of a pitcher than Kevin Slowey? Going into his Tigers game, Slowey had a 5.49 ERA. Bonser had a 5.25 ERA before his game.

Obviously they’ve since gone in divergent directions, and ERA is such a coarse way of looking at a pitcher, but it is still mind-boggling that the Tigers can look like two COMPLETELY different teams against two not-overly-dissimilar pitchers. I mean, they made Slowey look like an All Star out there, and they made Boof look like an oversized little leaguer.

If I think too closely about this I suspect that my brain will simply explode, so I’m just going to accept this game as a little present and leave it at that.

Magglio went 3-for-3 with 4 runs scored, a walk, and 6 RBI. He hit two home runs. He is eating Boof Bonser up there at the top of the post because, seriously, LOOK AT THAT. Who hits like that? WHO ACTUALLY HITS LIKE THAT? Magglio freakin’ Ordonez hits like that, kids and kittens. Look upon his mighty hair and weep.

(Also, he seems to be starting a mustache. This is not quite so horrifying on him as it was on Bondo, but I do fear that if he actually grows the mustache out and keeps his hair like it is now, he’s going to look an AWFUL lot like a French musketeer. Which is fine, if that’s the look he’s going for, but I just don’t know that it is.)

It also seems worth pointing out that Polanco has somehow dragged his line back up to .294/.361/.405. I think he was batting .247 at the end of April. This is just Placido doing what he does, but there were people expressing concern about his ability to hit now that he’s a whole friggin’ season older, so I’m just sayin’. Look upon his mighty cranium and weep.

Nate gave us a solid start, and Aquilino looked good for 2.2 innings. It’s not like they had much stress hanging over their heads once the offense got going. Even after the Twins had 3 runs on the board, that was still a 16-run cushion for most of the game, as the Tigers stopped bothering to score after the 5th. Which is a little disturbing, but NO, I will NOT think about it, no need for head ‘splodey. I merely point it out.

Oh hey, exciting new blog feature! (note: blog feature not actually all that exciting) We have a FAQ section now! You can see it in that top row where the tags and links sections are, or you can just click this if you want. I think I covered all the most frequently asked questions, but if there’s something that you think should be in there that I’ve missed, PLEASE let me know.

Sunday Verlander’s up against some lifelong Minnesotan named Glen in a game that I will probably listen to on the radio because it’s in the middle of the day and we need to go buy shrubbery. GO TEAM!

bonked on the head by the sinker of Fausto Carmona


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Urgh. Not a good series, even worse because it was against THE big rival right now. Taking our division lead from us…. *grumble grumble grumble*. Remember the days when the AL Central was kind of a joke? Where are those halcyon days? Why can’t we get them back?

I shouldn’t complain. After all, the division being good includes us. We could be the Royals… futile as ever AND stuck in a division suddenly everyone’s afraid to play.

See, now I’ve gone and mentioned the Royals, and everything I was going to complain about in today’s game, and in this series, suddenly seems so inconsequential.

From this game, the good:

–Exceptional Mental Makeup Mike Maroth displaying his EMM once again, having a TERRIBLE first inning (4 runs immediately, blargh) and more or less kicking rear for another 7 innings, thus saving us from having to use the tissue-thin bullpen.

–Brandon Inge breaking up his hitless streak with a double.

–Quote of the day, from umpire Bruce Froemming, the longest-tenured ump in MLB today (I think).

Froemming: “Do you know how good my eyes are?”
Young ump: “How good are they?”
Froemming: “On a clear day, I can see the sun. It’s 93 million miles away, and I can still see it.”

Good job Bruce Froemming. Although the distance of the earth from the sun varies over the course of its orbit, it is in fact generally between 91 and 95 million miles away. Good on him for knowing his astronomy.

Random trivia fact: I was at Bruce Froemming’s 5000th game, as it was in Fenway.

From this game, the bad:

–Losing to the Racist Logos.

–Compounding the slide down out of first place.

–Ryan Garko (went into what he did yesterday in the previous post. Today he homered in 3 runs in the first).

–Failing to reward Maroth’s EMM.

–9 men left on base.

–We have to face the Racist Logos again soon… and next time, in their house. Oy.

That’s a lot of bad, and it’s substantially worse than the good… but like I just said, when you think about the Royals, it’s hard to feel as terrible as you otherwise might. Be cheered, Detroit fans!

Fabulous news for people who want to delve further into the depths of my insanity!
[NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: all the links in here died with MVN. Sorry. Sucks.]

Some of you may already be aware of The Last Page. It’s MVN’s space for writers to post “feature-length” articles, as opposed to short little things like we throw up on the blogs.

I had been telling the General MVN Overlord, Evan, about my senior thesis project. He was fascinated/horrified by it, and immediately said that I should do a write-up of it for The Last Page. I figured it would be a nice little exercise in recapping the madness for me when the whole thing was done, and agreed.
Then The Last Page started up for real… and I read the essays people posted. Essays about drug use in sports. About free agency. About new hockey rules. Serious essays, written seriously.

O HAI GUYZ I HAVE A ART PROJEKT ITS ABOUT BEETLEZ AN BASEBALLZ HAR HAR U WANNA SEE??

Nobody’s going to read it. It’s long, it’s about a freakin’ art project, and it’s bizarre to the max, and makes me look even more psychotic than THIS blog does.

That said, if anyone DOES want to read it, the permalink is right thisaway. Feel free to comment. I’ve had lots of feedback on this project from artists, and almost none from baseball fans.
*shamelessly plugs*

pug marks, May 16


photo by Samara Pearlstein

It is raining like the dickens here, and thundering, and there’s a tornado watch on the western part of the state, so while everyone is going to TRY to get the game in tonight, I’m not at all sure that we will. Hopefully we will. Just had a few things I wanted to dump on you lot anyways.

pug mark 1
Sean Casey feeds the homeless, is too awesome for words. Only not quite, because the Herald managed a whole article’s worth of words on him, and I’m adding to it here.

Apparently, after Monday’s game Casey didn’t go back to the hotel, instead going to Lawrence so he could be up at 6 am to work at a meal center. You guys. I can’t even express the awesomeness that is Sean Casey. The dude deserves a medal or something just for helping to restore my faith in the fact that there are anti-Barry-Bondses and anti-ARods in baseball these days.

pug mark 2
You know how I’ve been puzzling and sobbing uselessly over Bondo’s first inning struggles? Of course you do. We’ve all noticed it, and we’ve all been helplessly horrified by it.

Well, a new Motown Tiger calling himself Sven Draconian showed up on the boards, and he comes bearing answers. It’s fascinating, it makes sense, and he’s a very very very dedicated scorer. Top work, Sven Draconian.

pug mark 3
You may notice a little box-a-ma-jig on the right-hand side of this post. It’s a new feature here at MVN that allows me to occasionally point you guys in the direction of Take 75 North, the Detroit Tigers minor league blog here at the Network. It’ll show a couple of Matt’s most recent posts, which are good reads, because Matt is perhaps unhealthily obsessed with the Tigers’ minor league teams. He’s not photoshopping their heads onto penguins, though, so it’s definitely a safer bet than over here. Go read!

pug mark 4
Some old dude is going around Michigan telling people that he’s Brandon Inge’s dad, but he isn’t. Weird. Just weird.

pug mark 5
Photos photos photos photos photos!

The photo set from the first game of this series (Dice-K/Nate) is now up on flickr. There will be a proper photo post at the end of the series, but if you want to check that one out first, thar she be.

ADDED pug mark 6
Bondo to the DL. Blah. It’s retroactive though, so I think he doesn’t miss more than his next supposed start. Better to let it heal completely than having him tear up his finger more and adding a patch of scarring to it that screws up his pitching.

ADDED pug mark 7
The rainout means that I hauled my rear all the way downtown and back just to sit in traffic. Auuuugh. I’ll be at the afternoon game tomorrow, which means waking up EARLY, whine whine whine. Dunno ’bout the night game, it depends on whether or not my brother goes to that one. Either way, posting may take a bit to recover, as I’ll be a gibbering wreck and have to be up early to work on Friday. I plan to spend this entire weekend not moving.

it's like we were naked, but now we are clothed


photo by Samara Pearlstein

The archives are back! The archives are back!

Now you can relive all your favorite Roar of the Tigers moments in full glorious new-format style. It’s so marvelous I hardly know what to do with myself, especially since I just went through almost two years’ worth of posts and fixed the tags and photos for each and everyone. My eyeballs may fall out of their sockets at any moment now, but it was oh-so-very-worth-it, if only for my own personal obsessive peace of mind.

You may direct your fervent thanks to Brandon Rosage, our lovely admin fellow, who also does the Outsider Radio section of this here Most Valuable Network.

I just feel a lot better, having the archives back. Don’t you feel better? Yes. It is a nice, clean, Spring Trainingy kind of feeling.
Oh, and if you’re bored and decide to flip through, bear in mind that I came on board here in June of 2005 (before that I had been writing about the Tigers along with a bunch of other teams at Blue Cats and Red Sox, my other site). I’ve fixed the tags and images on all of MY posts; I’m afraid I can’t be responsible for the posting that went on before I came over here, or for the posts of my erstwhile blogpartner Mike. Just so we’re all clear.

WOO ARCHIVES!

pug marks, Jan. 17


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

From now on, when I have an odds and ends post that I can’t think of a better name for, it’s getting called “pug marks”. The zoologically-inclined among you will recognize the term, and for those of you who are not familiar with it, pug marks are pawprints left behind by tigers and their awesome tiger toe-pads. Pawprints, and post titles for lazy bloggers who don’t want to write “odds and ends” and see it glaring back at them from the top of the page.

pug mark 1
Dave Dombrowski is the anti-arb.

Signed to one-year contracts are Craig Monroe, Nate Robertson, Omar Infante and Fernando Rodney. This means that none of them go to arbitration, and Mr. Dombrowski doesn’t have to sully his hands with the base squabbles of commoners. You might think that, in this whacktarded market, Nate or Fernando could have gotten a bit more if they’d really pushed the issue, but nowadays the cool kids all WANT to come to Detroit, and don’t consider it quite the desolate punishment it once was (i.e. what it still is for pro football).

We have way too many Omar-equivalents on the roster right now. Ramon Santiago is basically a less interesting Omar, and Neifi Perez is basically a more loathsome Omar. This may not bode well for the actual Omar. Billfer thinks the amount of money Omar got may indicate a willingness on the part of the Tigs to stick with him, but Rotoworld seems to be under the impression that they don’t favor him.

The official RotT position on this is “yay Omar”, “boo hiss Neifi”, “eh Ramon”.

pug mark 2
Dear Gary Sheffield: I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that you are on a team that I root for and that I now, by extension, have to root for you. This is not an easy thing for me, because I hate your Yankee tenure, your bat wiggle, and your guts. But I am TRYING, because you are a Tiger now and I have to.

Why do you have to make it harder for me?

“I’m able to lift weights that I never lifted before,” he said. “My wrist had been bothering me since Atlanta, and finally it kind of gave way. Now I’m back and I’m putting up weights like I never have. I haven’t done the things I’m able to do now in a long time.”

MLB Tigers article

WOW THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE YOU’RE ON STEROIDS AT ALL. I MEAN IT’S NOT AS THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN UNDER SUSPICION OF THAT, SO THERE’S REALLY NO REASON FOR ANYONE TO EVEN GO THERE IN THEIR MINDS. THIRTY-EIGHT YEAR OLD BALLPLAYERS WITH DECAYING BODIES OFTEN SUDDENLY GAIN THE ABILITY TO LIFT WEIGHTS THAT THEY HAVE “NEVER LIFTED BEFORE”.

I’m not necessarily saying he’s ‘roiding, because holy freakin’ cats would that be stupid of him right now, but WHY DID HE HAVE TO SAY THAT? Why did he have to be SO BLOODY FREAKIN’ DUMB to say something as BATGUANO INSANELY INCRIMINATING/DODGY-SOUNDING AS THAT?

“But speak out intelligently. I think that’s the key. When you’re talking about stuff that doesn’t make sense, then it becomes a problem. But when you’re making sense, then it’s valid.

“I know I don’t always make sense. It’s just knowing yourself…. Because I speak on subjects that you might not get today, but you’ll get it tomorrow.”

Oh. Alright then. I suppose this will sound loads better tomorrow.

pug mark 3
Please turn your attention to this Free Press article, and more particularly to the photo at the head of it.

Apparently the Team of the Year trophy is a small green granite tombstone. Curious design choice.

And speaking of curious design choices… I don’t know if anyone has told Brandon Inge this lately, but he’s really, REALLY pale. I mean, blonde as all get-out, and wicked pasty white on top of that. So WHY would he go about wearing the kind of pumpkin orange shirt/orange and yellow 1974 tie/gleaming brown pinstriped suit combo that even Deion Sanders might scoff at?

(Note that this is complete hyperbole to make the point; Deion would wear that outfit in a second, with several pounds of diamonds distributed carefully over it, and possibly a matching orange fedora. Also, it would look better on Deion, because he’s not WHITER THAN NASCAR.)

pug mark 4
TigerFest is this Saturday. It’s sold out (!!!), so I will not be in attendance. If you’re going, have oodles of fun and rest assured that somewhere, in the dark cold depths of Ann Arbor, there’s a student cultivating a deeply jealous sulk because you are there and she is not. I’m probably not going to make it out to any of the caravan events either (sulk sulk SULK)… they’re in Ann Arbor at some point, but I think it’s the sort of thing you have to pay through the teeth to get into, and the art school is happily making sure I don’t even have any teeth left to pay through by the end of the semester.

pug mark 5
You may have noticed some difficulty reaching this site/getting it to load properly/etc., of late. The web dude is aware of the problem, and since I have bothered him at work I can assure you that he is trying very hard to resolve it. Basically the issue is that the entire server is dependent on a team of highly trained chinchillas, and the chinchillas are in revolt. It’s a pretty touchy situation. No one wants to oppress the rights of the chinchillas, but their sudden and unexpected demands are really putting a cramp in our web service style. Hopefully they’ll see reason soon, and things (and their frail yet finely furred little legs) will run smoothly again.

the Tigers should never get new uniforms; this does not hold true for blogs

So as you may have noticed (or, more accurately, cannot fail to notice), we’ve got some new things going on here at the Most Valuable Network. There is a “small group of Phase 1 MLB blogs moved to help usher in the debut of MVN.com”, and Roar of the Tigers ended up being one of them, probably because someone On High decided we’d better have some puerile humor along with all the actual analysis. It’s good to keep expectations low right off the bat.

The archives are not over here yet, but they should be soon– patience, my pretties, patience. Hopefully I’ll work out all the ins and outs of the new system soon enough and posting should resume at a better clip, since I just finished my last critique of the semester today and will have all sorts of time to spend idly and irresponsibly speculating about the Tigers of last year and next.

note to other Tigers bloggers: If I had you linked on the old site, you will probably get linked on this one. I’m still working out how to get a blogroll up here. Worry not, the bloggin’ love is still there. Also, as of right now at least, tigers.mostvaluablenetwork.com is redirecting right here, but if you want to update your links to http://mvn.com/mlb-tigers, that’s the new addy.

Welcome, kids and kittens, to the snazzy new era of Roar of the Tigering!

in moderation

Just a quick note here to say that it has just come to my attention that some comments have been languishing in a ‘moderation’ area of the site. Usually I ignore this spot because it’s just filled with lesbian cheerleaders and offers of drugs that I do not require, but I realized today that, for whatever reason, there are some legitimate comments from you, the beloved RotT readers, in there.

These comments have been duly approved and should show up now, as they were originally intended to do. I still do not know why some people can comment and have it show up immediately, and some people get dumped into this limbo, but I am very sorry that it happened.

I’m gonna be checkin’ that sucker regularly from now on, so do not be afraid to spout your outrageous Tigerpinions, they will be showing up from this day forward.

Also, I would like to kick the Twins in the gonads.

Internet people emerge into sunlight; Tigers request they leave park, as their pasty skin reflects light and blinds batters

Do you love baseball? Do you love the Tigers? Do you love bloggers?

If your answers to those questions are Yes, Yes, and Maybe, then now is your chance to wallow in all three!

On September 5 an Escalade-load* of Tigers bloggers will be blessing Comerica Park with their (our) presence. I fully expect it to be the most exciting event of the season, by which I mean we’ll probably get rained out. But in the happy event that we do not get rained out, we will be sitting in mezzanine Section 212, Row 1. YOU, the cherished reader, are encouraged to join us in this area, or at least encouraged to get tickets elsewhere in the park and come up between innings to point and scream, “OH MY GOD INTERNET PEOPLE”.

No seriously, you’re Internet People too. You haven’t got a leg to stand on. Joiiiinnnnn ussssssss.

Who will be there? The current list includes Billfer, Ian, Brian, Greg Eno, Ryan, and The Bleacher Guy. Man, look at that list of veritable All Stars. I’m getting faint just typing all those addresses.

Oh, and me, o’course. It’s the first day of classes, so I plan on being a charming complete and utter wreck. But a complete and utter wreck with camera. Expect and possibly fear photos.

I am writing about this because that last game against Tampa Bay left a bad taste in my mouth, and Bonderman’s last start was so… I can’t even think of an appropriate adjective for that game, actually. But he’s pitching again tonight and I have The Irrational Fear. Hopefully he (and the REST OF THE TEAM who have an impact on the game through THEIR ABILITY TO FIELD BALLS CLEANLY OR NOT) will prove me wrong.

edit: Oh bollocks, Verlander’s missing his next start due to ‘a tired arm’. My very first reaction was to panic and gibber, but half a second later I realized, duh. Post All Star Break. Baby pitcher. Of course he’s tired; he’s never thrown this much in his life, probably, and certainly not at this level. I’m glad the Tigs are showing caution in handling him.

That said, great holy striped felines, this is scary if it persists.

*DISCLAIMER: Tigers bloggers are not actually arriving in an Escalade. However, the current number of Tigers bloggers planning to attend would comfortably fill an Escalade, so WE COULD IF WE REALLY WANTED TO.

A new drone for the blogging empire of MVN

Hello, cherished Most Valuable Network readers! I imagine you’re all looking at this name, thinking to your reader selves, “Wait a tic, that’s not Mike… nor is it that Chip fellow… what in the world? Who is this individual? What are they doing writing on a Tigers blog? What kind of a name is ‘Samara’ anyways?” And if you’re an extra special sort of reader, you are perhaps thinking, “Why is this Tigers blog operating without any mention at all of how hot Brandon Inge looks with his socks up?”

I will endeavor to answer your questions (which I have made up in my deranged little mind, but bear with me).

Who is this individual?
You may know me from various other places on the magical interweb as PantheraTigris, Boston Fan in Michigan, the Feline Anarchist, or Sam. I’ve been toiling away in relative internet obscurity over at Blue Cats and Red Sox for quite some time now. I’m a Bostonian who was raised on both Boston and Detroit sports (and the Miami Dolphins as a tertiary football team, don’t ask) and as I currently attend the University of Michigan (any Wolverines in the audience?) I split my time between MA and MI. I’m attempting to get a dual degree in art and zoology (again, don’t ask).

What are they doing writing on a Tigers blog?

Evan, our blogging overlord, asked if I would like to join his campaign to take over the internet and write about the Tigers on the side. As my original site was getting rather cluttered with all the teams I absolutely had to write about, it seemed like a good idea to streamline matters and just put all my Tigers ramblings on a purely Tigers-oriented site. Namely, this one. Evan gets another blogging minion, MVN gets one step closer to world domination, blogging partner Mike (hi Mike! we haven’t talked at all! I’m sure you rock!) gets a break because my insane ramblings mean he doesn’t have to blog so often if he doesn’t want to, you readerfolk get to laugh at my ineptitude, and I get to talk Tigers without worrying about making it interesting for Red Sox fans, like I did on my other site.

Everyone wins!

What kind of a name is ‘Samara’ anyways?

It is my kind of a name. More specifically,

1. A dry, indehiscent, winged, often one-seeded fruit, as of the ash, elm, or maple. [Latin, elm seed]

2. A city of western Russia on the Volga River east-southeast of Moscow. Founded in 1586 as a stronghold to defend river trade and the eastern frontier, it was temporarily the capital of the USSR from 1941 to 1943. From 1935 to 1991 it was known as Kuibyshev. Population: 1,231,653.

3. An omnivorous mammal of simian descent, this species may be positively identified by its Painfully Artsy Glasses and obsession with baseball. A regular migratory pattern may be observed, with summers spent along the Massachusetts coast, the rest of the year this creature resides within the region commonly known as Ann Arbor.

4. A good alternative for parents who want to name their daughter after someone called ‘Sam’ but who do not like the name ‘Samantha’.

Why is this Tigers blog operating without any mention at all of how hot Brandon Inge looks with his socks up?

Kids, I do not know. I can only offer blind conjecture here. It may be that Mike is too firmly heterosexual to gain a proper appreciation of Brandon Inge and his high socks, but I tend to think this is a matter of pure aesthetics, not desire. Rest assured that my presence in this blog will mean discussion of Brandon Inge’s effectiveness in the lead-off slot, his ridiculously powerful arm, his surprising occasional bursts of offensive power, his fantastic bulldogish (Bengal Tigerish?) attitude, the way his OPS numbers so far this year are proving that moving him back out from behind the plate was an excellent idea, and his hot ass.

I reckon that ought to do for introduction. I look forward to talking Tigers with you all, as we get into fights with relief pitchers on the team plane, suffer perplexing injuries, complain about Bobby Higginson, suggest that Paul Quantrill come over and loosen our ‘do rag, and dance a delicate tango with the mystical, long-awaited .500.