Category Archives: Bobby Seay

Bobby Seay’s shoulder is all pain and mystery


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

We all know by now that Bobby Seay is starting the season on the DL, right? Yes. Good. I normally wouldn’t make a whole new post for something so obvious, but the Story of the SeayShoulder has gone from yet another ho-hum persistent tendonitis-like ailment to something much more sinister. Insert evil echoey laughter here.

Bobby Seay will see a third doctor about the soreness in his left shoulder and said “I can’t talk about what it is yet, but it was never bursitis and never tendonitis. Not even close.”
Tom Gage/Detroit News

THEN WHAT IS IT?? He can’t talk about it… yet! Dun duuuuuunnnnnn. I must admit that I am intrigued. It was never ‘even close’ to tendonitis? What manner of shoulder deviltry are we dealing with here? Is it one of Nate’s teratomas? Has his shoulder joint come completely apart, held in place by his skin, like a leather bag of loose wire hangers? Is it a cyst the size of a cantaloupe, filled with humours so vile that Science cannot even conceive of their existence?

Maybe a small portal to an alternate dimension has opened up in Bobby Seay’s shoulder, and the resulting instability of the joint area has been causing him pain (not to mention the problems with all the alternate dimension aliens coming through the portal and the alternate dimension radiation in wavelengths unknown to man and all that). Or maybe it’s a simple ShoulderMonster, as illustrated above. A most troublesome protrusion, of course. It’s the teeth that really get you.

We can only hope that Mr. Seay will see fit to elucidate this matter soon enough. Because now he’s got us all hyped up on curiosity. You can’t just leave it at that, Bobby!

pug marks, Feb. 23


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

It’s been ages since we last had a pug marks post, hasn’t it? Let’s see if we can manage to pug mark things that aren’t Traitor Damon.

pug mark 1
Carlos Guillen is just fine with a DH role. Which is good, ’cause, uh, it’s what he’s going to be playing. Logic, the composition of the lineup as it stands right now, and Guillen’s baseball-elderly body would all seem to make this an easy decision. It’s only an issue because of an interview Guillen did back in October, where he said things like this:

“I’m not trying to make big trouble,” Guillen said. “I know we’re coming off a tough year. I just want to make everything clear and prepare myself for the next year, because I don’t know what [the Tigers are] going to do.”

“I’m happy with the organization,” Guillen said. “We have great players, great fans. But I think the best way I can help my team is on the field.”
Jason Beck, DetroitTigers.com

Now he’s saying things like this:

“I’m very happy,” Guillen said. “We had a good conversation this morning.”

“I made a mistake,” Leyland said.

That made a point with Guillen.

“I’m happy he understands,” Guillen said.
Jason Beck, DetroitTigers.com

It’s not surprising that Guillen wants to play every day, and it’s not really surprising that he had some trouble imagining himself happy in a reduced role. He is after all a professional baseball player, which means that in his little baseball player heart he believes he is 22 years old and made of adamantium. So it took some time and some pointed front office communication to get this through, but it sounds like everyone got there in the end, and that’s the main thing.

pug mark 2
Our very own Lee of Tiger Tales has done a book! A WHOLE BOOK, YO. It’s called Beyond Batting Average and it has numbers and words and things in it.

It ALSO has drawings in it! Because Lee was concerned that numbers and words might be kind of boring for some people, he wanted inky doodles to break up the tedium, so he asked me if I would terribly mind making some appropriately inky contribution. Of course I agreed, for great baseball justice and moderate lulz. Here’s a preview to whet your appetite:

Lee also did a wee interview about the book with BYB, which can be found right over here.

pug mark 3
The G-Money situation is resolved. For now. He’s pleading no contest to the charges, and in exchange will have to attend anger management classes, which is probably a good thing anyways. Maybe we should have all the Tigers attend with him. You know, to be proactive.

pug mark 4
Relatedly, sort of, Dane Sardinha has been arrested for driving drunk. He’s with the Phillies now, but he was ours just recently, and in light of the Cabrera and G-Money incidents it seemed worth a mention.

I don’t know what, if anything, MLB is doing to address the drinking culture of the players, but it’s starting to look more and more like they need to do SOMETHING. Also, people who drive drunk are the scum of the earth, so if all Tigers can please remember that they make more than enough money to pay for a cab from now on, that would be swell.

pug mark 5
Bobby Seay has been shut down for a few days. He’s got bursitis and tendonitis (read: swollen bits) in his throwing shoulder. The team doesn’t seem to think it’s a huge deal, but they’re taking the Better Safe Than Sorry and Without Bobby Seay When You Need/Want Him approach.

pug mark 6
Some interesting spring visuals, via Roger DeWitt/hueytaxi:

–When did Ramon Santiago get so jacked?
–The Bondo tattoo situation is even worse than we initially thought. The tribal bicep route, Bondo? Really?
–Behold the new svelte Zoom.
Max St. Pierre lives!
–If Phil Coke keeps this look during the season, he’s going to make himself much easier to cartoon. Do it, Phil, do it!
–Magglio’s hair report: still tragically short.
–Ryan Perry really needs to kill the chin strap thing he’s got going on right now.
–One of the first photos of Max Scherzer I’ve seen. Gorgeous, fierce, flawless, etc.

pug mark 7
Oh, fine, one Traitor Damon pug mark. Please take a look at Mr. Dombrowski’s shirt at the ‘Hey we signed this dude for real’ press conference. STRIPED PERFECTION. That shirt is everything my cartoony mind has ever dreamed of for our GM.

Roar of the Tigers illustrates recent important Tigers news

First we start out with the world-shattering tale of Aubrey Huff and Brandon Inge and Brandon Inge’s home run trot this past Thursday. The Freep took the opportunity to break out what may well have been the first use of the phrase “dirt facial” in a baseball article.

As he rounded the bases after his home run, Inge wiped dirt off his face. Apparently, good friend Aubrey Huff, the Orioles’ first baseman, provided a dirt facial as Inge rounded the base. Inge said he tried to keep from laughing as he trotted around.

Mark Snyder, Detroit Free Press article

“I know (Orioles first baseman) Aubrey Huff pretty well and as I rounded first, he doused me with a mouthful of dirt. He kicked dirt all over my face. I was dying laughing,” Inge said. “But I didn’t bust out because I didn’t want the pitcher to think it was about him.”

Tom Gage, Detroit News article

In a turn of events as tragic as tragic can be, I have not seen any photos or video of this incident. My woe knows no bounds. So it has been rendered in Terrible Cartoon form,for posterity, and stuff.

Tigers manager Jim Leyland said Fu-Te Ni does a hilarious impersonation of fellow left-handed reliever Bobby Seay.

He apparently has Seay’s mannerisms down, based on an imitation of Seay he gave this week for Leyland in the manager’s office.

“I laughed (a lot),” Leyland said. “He (Ni) has some personality. I like him.

John Lowe, Detroit Free Press article

Partly because of the language barrier and partly because he’s a middle reliever, we just have not been exposed to a whole lot of Fu Te Ni, the dude. But we want to know him! We crave ever more reasons to shower affection upon our Tigers, and adorable if superficial nuggets of personality will help us do just that.

What are Bobby Seay’s imitable mannerisms? We need to know, this is Important. Ni should maybe do the Bobby Seay impression on camera, so that the people can see it, and Bobby Seay should be standing awkwardly in the back not really knowing what to do about this, and we can have Jim Leyland laughing/wheezing/coughing in hysterical glee off to the side, and isn’t this the sort of thing you’d want to see on FSND?

I would watch that. I would watch it so hard.

CONFIRMED: Brandon Inge is, in fact, growing a mustache. It is, in fact, terrible. Before today’s game he claimed that it was a Rally Mustache, an attempt to change the luck of the Tigers. Will it help his bat? Will it help the bats of other Cats? Brandon Inge does not know. He hopes it will help him, but if it helps someone else– if they manage to hit better “due to [his] ugliness,” as he said in the pregame interview– the Rally ‘stache will have served its purpose.

I say, look, OK, Magglio’s hair removal did not ultimately solve his bat problems. Brandon Inge growing a sketchy little pale mustache is not on the same level as the shearing of the Magglio locks, but it is also in its own way painful to look at, and Magglio conclusively proved (with Science!) that doing sad, misguided things to the physical appearance of Tigers is not a good baseball strategy.

In THE TIGERS COME TO BOSTON news: I will be at Fenway, weather permitting, for the Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday games. Weather permitting, again, I will be there when the gates open on Tuesday and Wednesday. I won’t lie, I am so excited I might gnaw off all my fingernails by then. Are you going to be there? If so, drop me a line, we can awkwardly meet somewhere in the park and reflect on how we know each other from the Internet. It will be good times.

enter the SeayLyon


illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Finally, there he is.

Today’s SeayLyon outing was not exactly perfect– the lefthand half of the creature gave up a couple of hits and a run– but I didn’t have that much to say about the game, and it was high time for you all to get a look at our pinnipedal friend. Feast your eyes upon his fleshy form. I assure you he is much more graceful in the water.

–Alex Avila made his major league debut at catcher today. He went 2-for-4 with a double, an RBI, and a run scored. That ain’t half bad for your first game. His mom had to cover her eyes during his first at-bat, the stress was too great. No worries Mrs. Avila, your boy did a good thing, he did not freak out or fail spectacularly or in any way besmirch the Avila name.

–Even though FredFred didn’t go too deep (5.2 innings), it was heartening to see him pitch what ended up being a winning effort with Avila behind the plate. The combined age of the Tigers’ starting battery today was still younger than Andy Van Slyke. It could have turned into a blind-leading-the-blind situation, but instead everyone remained calm and everyone did their research and we all got through it ~*~together~*~.

–I love Ramon Santiago Comerica triples almost as much as I love decisive Brandon Inge home runs. ALMOST as much. In any event it is good to see the Tigers turning out extra base hits every now and then, you will recall what an issue that was during the series in Cleveland.

–Back in the division, we take on the Twinkies next. Arrrrmando goes up against a dude named Swarzak, which always makes me want to say Sleestak. Hopefully he won’t actually be one of those. We wouldn’t want to give Arrrrmando nightmares.

–(Speaking of nightmares, has anyone else noticed that Brandon Inge seems to be trying to grow a mustache? It’s kind of visible in HD, I don’t know how well you can see it on a regular TV or MLBtv. But I am pretty sure that is what I am seeing, and if my eyes do not deceive me I am not happy about it. Not happy at all.)

the midseason report card, Roar of the Tigers style


photo by Samara Pearlstein

OK, I’ve seen a lot of blogs on the magical internets doing these midseason report cards and scorecards. I am currently being bored to tears by the All Star game, so what the hell. Obviously this is going to be RotT-style, but you already knew that, didn’t you?

PITCHERS

Jeremy Bonderman
Grade: n/a
Reason: deceased

the Bovine kid
Grade: C
Reason: Every time he goes out there and doesn’t sit down on the mound and start screaming, it’s a plus for us. He’s not handling major league hitting all that well but then again nobody really expected him to do so. In an ideal world (or a less-than-ideal world that nonetheless did not include the destruction of Bondo and Dontrelle) he wouldn’t be anywhere near the big league roster right now.

Freddy Dolsi
Grade: A-
Reason: I saw the very first ever pitches he threw in the big leagues in person, and it seemed eminently likely that the poor kid was going to be scarred for life. This has not been the case. Leyland has been leaning on him awfully hard and he’s bearing up under the pressure remarkably well for a kid who is 12 years old and weighs about 100 pounds.

the Fossum Possum
Grade: D
Reason: Look, it’s Casey Fossum, what do you expect? He doesn’t fail because a) he’s a lefty and b) he gives me an opportunity to say ‘Fossum Possum’.

Arrrrrrrmando Galarrrrrrraga
Grade: A
Reason: The thing with Arrrrmando is that he SHOULD be like Bonine– every time he goes out there and doesn’t start screaming hysterically on the mound, it’s a major plus for the Tigers. But Arrrrmando has been serviceable. Heck, more than that, he’s actually been GOOD. He has been performing so far above any reasonable expectations that it would be downright churlish to give him anything other than an A and a bunch of extra Rs in his name.

Rollercoaster Jones
Grade: B-
Reason: I know this is going to seem insanely generous to a lot of cats, but Jonesy is dead weird and cannot be graded according to the standards of normal people. Sure, his ERA sucks. Sure, his WHIP sucks a LOT (a 1.54 WHIP is pretty bad for a starter, let alone a closer; the best closers in the league right now all have WHIPs under 1.00). Sure, he only has 17 saves– of course the Tigers haven’t given him a ton of save opportunities. But, insanely, he only has 2 blown saves. This compares favorably with some of the best closers in the league. Mariano has none, but Joe Nathan has 2 and Papelbon has 4. Jonesy is frustrating in the extreme but he’s not ACTUALLY deadly most of the time. It’s weird. So, B- .

Aquilino Lopez
Grade: A-
Reason: He’s been fairly good, and kind of flying under the radar. It’ll be interesting to see if the Tigs do manage to convert him to a 5th starter at some point. The best thing about him is still the fact that his name is Aquilino.

Zach Miner
Grade: D
Reason: CONTROL. GET U SUM.

Clay Rapada
Grade: C
Reason: Eh. Sometimes he pitches OK. Mostly he comes up when we need a spare left hand in the bullpen, and gets sent down when more reliable options become healthy/available/sane. Probably the coaches have a good reason for this.

Nate Robertson
Grade: C+
Reason: Nate has had some hard luck this season, we all know that, and he’s pitched some amazingly amazing games, but he’s also pitched some awful games. In a beautiful world filled with fluffy kittens and the ballplayers who hug them, Nate would be a #5 starter. Unfortunately, we do not yet live in that world, and Nate has to play like a less marginal pitcher because we barely have 4 starters, let alone 5.

Fernando
Grade: C-
Reason: Watching Fernando fail on the mound, when I KNOW that he has the latent ability to throw deadly, unhittable pitches, is one of the most frustrating things in the whole wide world of baseball. Fernando makes me want to pull out my own hair and at the same time reach through my TV screen to strangle him. It’s very healthy. He doesn’t get a D because he is at least still (slowly) (incrementally) dragging his numbers back down towards respectability, and because he’s from a city that’s only one letter off from my name. I dig that.

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All is not lost! All is not lost! A win for the Tigers!

photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

HALLELUJAH

PRAISE BE TO PAWS

THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEEN POSTPONED!

THE DETROIT TIGERS HAVE WON A REGULAR SEASON BASEBALL GAME!!!!

How did this marvelous event come to be?

Bondo managed to more or less hold it together. Two runs (one earned) over 5 innings– against the Red Sox, in Boston– is nothing to sneeze at, even if you have hayfever. The fact that he threw 96 pitches over 5 innings + a batter in the 6th is more sneeze-worthy; his 2nd inning today was kind of like his first innings of yore (although his first inning, again, looked like a normal person’s first inning. Huzzah!) and he had a lot of trouble finding that elusive strikezone. Leyland said something after the game about his side (?) being either sore or stiff (??), but hopefully that’s just because it’s still early in the season and it’s still kind of chilly in Boston at night.

The entire bullpen did their part, going a collective 4 innings without giving up a run. Bobby Seay, though, was once again especially effective. He went 1.1 without allowing any hits or walks. Todd Jones was nerve-wracking, what with the whole loading-the-bases thing he has goin’ on, but in the end he got out of it. Typical Jonesy. You will note that, while the bullpen shone today, Jason Grilli had no part in it. I’m just saying.

Edgah came back to Boston with a bug up his bum; he jumped all over the Red Sox pitching.

The River Thames blasted a ball into the second row of Monster Seats, exactly the kind of massive, dramatic power that the Tigers have been lacking of late. Brandon Inge had a big two-run single. Pudge FINALLY got his 2,500th hit, which is both semi-historic and a relief just because it means he can stop pressing so bloody hard up there.

Clete Thomas put down a really nice bunt, which Rod and Mario discussed for almost the entire rest of the game, so, y’know, there’s that as well.

Phew. I mean, we all knew the team was capable of hitting, capable of pitching (although we really can’t do that again…. we use up too many pitchers in one night, and Jason Grilli will HAVE to come on sooner or later), but it’s still a huge freaking relief to see it actually happen in practice, not just in theory. And I know there are still some guys on rough streaks right now (Placido), but hopefully the rest of the team will now be able to rally ’round and pick them up, instead of having every single Tigers wallowing in depression and a firm belief that they couldn’t win a cupcake if someone threw it point-blank at their faces. Which is what we’d been doing.

The Red Sox fan in me wants to see Tim Wakefield do well tomorrow, but the Tigers fan in me understands how incredibly badly the Tigers need to start making up those wins just in order to keep themselves sane. We shall see what we shall see.

the early Tiger gets the delicious feast (hopefully more than worms)


photo by Roger DeWitt

Imagine a sound. A high-pitched, keening sound of sheer wordless glee. A sound accompanied by hopping around. That’s approximately the sound I made when I saw that hueytaxi (of Motown Sports) had posted photos of REAL LIVE TIGERS out doing REAL ACTUAL BASEBALL TRAINING!!

YAY!

Obviously the guys are just warming up, working out, gettin’ some reps in. Mr. DeWitt reminded me that the guys who showed up (Verlander and Seay, as pictured above, apparently along with Ryan Raburn and Javair Gillett, the trainer) have homes in Florida, so it’s not like they’re exactly going out of their way to report at this ridiculously early date. That’s cool. It’s still January. I can wait for baseball. It’s not like I’m gnawing my own hands off or anything OH HOLY CATS WHY ISN’T THERE BASEBALL YET WHY, CRUEL UNIVERSE, WHY??

So, yeah, when I saw even a few Tigers out and about, doing baseball-ish things, it warmed my frenetic little heart even more than the unseasonable January thaw (it’s crrrrazy out here).

Look at their happy smiling sunny faces! Look at Bobby Seay’s beard! Look at Verlander totally not wearing MLB-issued apparel!

Squeeeee!

Oh, and while you’re here on the Internet, check out this official Tigers article about our catching situation. Basically it sounds like Vance Wilson is our man for the backup spot. The article tagline is “Rodriguez, Wilson give Tigers veteran duo behind the plate,” which is a very very nice way of saying that our catchers are OLD. Both of them. So old.

“I’m feeling good,” Wilson said. “I’m getting there.”

“One day you feel great, the next day you don’t,” Wilson said. “It’s kind of one of those things where I’d be disappointed if I’m not ready for Opening Day, but I’m not going to set any goals.”
DetroitTigers.com article

My concerns have not exactly been assuaged.

Yankee do and Yankee don't (Tigers enjoy that last bit)


photo by Samara Pearlstein

Saturday was a sock monkey of a game. It was limp, ugly, and reminding you of old things that you really wanted to have thrown away by now but your mom totally found them and made a sock monkey out of them so now you have to keep them and look at them all the time even though you hate them so hard. That is a really long and tortured metaphor for Jeremy Bonderman’s first inning struggles. Holy freakin’ cats. STOP THE MADNESS.

Ugh. This story has already been told. I refuse to tell it again.

Let us focus instead on the positives! The positives like…. uh… well, Brandon Inge had a pretty great game. He basically manufactured that one run, you know, what with his little single and his fancy baserunning and his taking advantage of bad pitching… ing. It’s high time that Inge turned it around and started hitting like a real boy again, so this game was encouraging.

Also, Polanco’s error was reversed. I’m sure some Yankee fans will be frothing at the mouth over that, but all right-thinking people of the world will agree that it was the proper move. *disclaimer* I may have been out on Saturday night and thus did may not actually see the play in question. However, being a right-thinking person who loves life, liberty, and Placido Polanco, I am confident about this statement.

Sunday’s game was altogether more palatable, although it too had sock monkey moments, such as Jair Jurrjen’s shoulder hurting too much for him to go on, and Pudge getting himself thrown out of the game. But, given the way they’ve been playing lately, the Tigers will surely provide plenty of negatives to focus on soon enough, so FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES. Win. Yay.

Bobby Seay, to be exact, with the win. Don’t feel bad if you laugh. We all are laughing. For once, we are laughing WITH Bobby Seay, and not at him. Long have you waited, Bobby. Six long years have separated you from your last win, but today you shall wait no longer, for an injured starter has made your vulturish glory possible. Rejoice! Rejoice!

Zoom showed that he can recover from mental anguish as readily as ever by coming back today and doing his job well.

“It’s been a while since I struck anyone out,” Zumaya said. “And especially to strike A-Rod out, it just felt really good.”
MLB.com article

Yes, Zoom. It felt good for us all.

Curtis Granderson continues to be made out of 100% pure awesomesauce. Today he put Phil Hughes back in his rightful place as an object of scorn and derision. You may wonder what Phil Hughes has done to deserve such a position, but perhaps you are a simpleton who forgets that he is a Yankee.

Granderson has been extra-basing the snot out of the ball lately. We all know about the triples, of course, and his homerun total has also been pretty high, but today he started off the game with an INSIDE THE PARK HOME RUN, showcasing both his power and his speed in one glorious packet of awesomesauce. Tasty, tasty.

More of this, Tigers. (but maybe less of the bullpen. since they are probably the walking dead by now)

Nate Robertson feeds his gopher; bullpen mauled


photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

I’ll get to Nate and his gopher in a minute.

I don’t know who was announcing today’s game, the FOX one, because I came in late and so missed any intros. But one guy kept saying over and over, after Verlander had left and the bullpen was suffering, that the relievers were going to get the blame for this but it was really the starters who deserved the blame, especially today. Verlander, he said, had thrown way too many pitches and was more responsible for the outcome of the game than the bullpen.

I don’t know what game this guy was watching, but I was watching a game where Justin Verlander pitched 6 innings and left the game with a lead. Yeah, a slim one-run lead, and the bullpen’s already thin with Zumaya’s busted arm and Fernando’s “biceps tendonitis” (isn’t that what The Farns had?), but a slim lead is still a lead, and it’s not Verlander’s fault that our relievers are made of cardboard and duct tape these days. He threw too many pitches? Sure did; over-100 pitches in 6 innings is a lot. But the Racist Logos were working him over and HE STILL MANAGED TO MAKE IT THROUGH 6 INNINGS. With a LEAD.

Verlander gave up 2 runs over 6 innings. The bullpen (combined) gave up 4 runs over 3.

So shut up, random announcer dude whose voice I probably should have recognized. Maybe in your magical Happyfuntime Yayyyyyy Bullpens Yaaaaaay baseball world, starters get blamed for games like that, but not in the real world.

This could definitely feed into my “Baseball guys are often completely out of touch with reality and seem to live inside their own personal imaginary worlds” rant, but I won’t get started.

Tim Byrdak did OK. I really wish he could’ve held Grilli’s guys on base when he came in. I hate seeing Ryan Garko score on anything other than a home run (not that I enjoy that either) because Garko’s so ponderous on the basepaths that him scoring means someone else has hit a ball incredibly infuriating for a Tigers fan to watch. At least in his own inning Byrdak kept the Racist Logos’ noses clean.

I also am not happy with Mr. Garko right now because of that “double” he hit off of Jason Grilli. If you weren’t watching the game, Garko hits a ball screaming back up the center, it ricochets off of Grilli’s knee so hard that Grilli crumples to the ground and the ball bounces all the way to right field. That’s a single or more probably an out if the ball doesn’t happen to be a pitcher-destroying beast. There ought to be a way to score that so the hitter doesn’t get credit for a double. Score it a 1B with the running taking second on PA… Pitcher’s Agony.

Grilli, even though the hit looked pretty awful at the time, seems to not be as badly hurt as he could have been. It apparently was not a direct blow to the patella itself, hitting more on the side of his knee instead. X-Rays were negative. It’s at the very least going to be bruised as snot though, and no matter what they shoot him up with, it’s probably going to swell and stiffen for a bit. Alas, it would be easier to let him sit a few games and shake it off if we weren’t already missing Zoom and Fernando.

I know this is gonna piss my Bobby Seay apologist off, but the dude should not be in the game when there are righties up. Period. Not at all. To start off the 6th it was Barfield, Sizemore, Blake, and Hafner. Sizemore and Hafner are lefties, but Barfield and Blake are not. He got lucky and Barfield grounded out to first…. but he couldn’t even get the lefty he was brought in to face out, as Sizemore tripled. Grady Sizemore isn’t hitting chopped liver or anything, and in most non-Comerica parks that’s a double, but he’s generally terrible against left-handed pitching… Bobby, what’re you DOING out there? Then of course Blake doubled him in for a run… Blake, the righty… I don’t know.

Bring it on, Bobby Seay apologist. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the Bobby Seay Curse, because every time I watch him pitch, he seems to become filled with The Fail.

Oh, and Polanco had to come out of the game with a strain or muscle spasm in his oblique. That’s the big muscle along the side of his torso, mind you. They called it a strain during the game and are calling it a muscle spasm now. A strain would be bad, because those take forever to heal up completely and can recur like rabbits repopulate. A muscle spasm sounds more like a cramp or something, and would obviously be preferable for its temporary nature.

Polanco says he’s OK and would be fine to play tomorrow, although it’s likely we’ll get an eyeful of Omar or, if we should be so lucky, Neifi!!! instead. Hopefully he’ll be back a game or two after that, though. If he’s not, we’re gonna have to start suspecting strain, and we’re going to have to start worrying.

Back to Nate and his gopher…

On Friday, as you all know by now, Nate Robertson managed to give up three home runs to the Indians in 5.2 innings. Two of them came in the first inning. It wasn’t pretty. Although the bullpen continued to give up runs then too, THAT game could be fairly hung on Nate: the Tigers were losing when he left the game, and he hadn’t pitched well. (Do you see how that works, announcer dude? Do you see why that makes sense, as opposed to your strange backwards land?)

Casey Blake, Victor Martinez, and Josh Barfield were the gopher-makers (there was a man on when Barfield went yard).

Ledezma pitched quite well, Byrdak gave up an RBI triple (after a walk), Mesa gave up a sac fly (which was credited to Byrdak). Although walks and triples both always make you tear out your hair a little, it just wasn’t anything compared to the spectacular sight of Nate giving up two home runs before most of the stadium even has their rear ends properly in their seats.

Hopefully it was a one-time kind of deal, because some crrrrrrrazy intuition tells me our bullpen is still going to be in injured, overused, and generally sorry shape by the time his slot in the rotation comes up again.

beating down the Cardinals and a wild ride on the Rollercoaster Jones


take a ride on Rollercoaster Jones, by Samara Pearlstein

Before I go any further into this weekend, I would just like to relive the 9th inning of Saturday’s game with you, so that you may better understand this post’s graphic.

The score was 8-5, Tigers. Todd Jones came in to pitch.
Jim Edmonds singled.
Yadier Molina grounded into a fielder’s choice that forced out Edmonds at second.
Adam Kennedy walked, moving Molina to second.
Chris Duncan flew out.
Aaron Miles singled to centerfield, scoring Molina and moving Kennedy to third. The score was 8-6.
Scott Spiezio and his red goatee tuft hit a ground rule double, scoring Kennedy and moving Miles to third. The score was 8-7.
Albert Pujols was intentionally walked, thus loading the bases.
TIGERS FANS EVERYWHERE HAD HEART ATTACKS AND SEIZURES.
The count went to 2-and-2 on Scott Rolen before
he mercifully popped out to third to end the game.

If you didn’t know before, you sure now know why we call him Rollercoaster Jones. Oh my GAWD, could that have BEEN any more UNNECESSARILY STRESSFUL? I think not. 100% pure Todd Jones. One day he is going to get a save, and nobody in Detroit is going to care, because we’re all going to be dead from cardiac arrest.

Anyways!

Much better game today, and although Fernando TRIED to make it more interesting, he’s no Todd Jones; when Fernando loses hold of games, he doesn’t barely hang on to win, oh no, they go to pot FAST, which is probably why Leyland put in Bobby Seay for what must have been the weakest one-batter save of his career. I doubt Bobby Seay is complaining. He should be happy he’s still on the team, so.

Verlander was on fire today and Chris Duncan’s liable to hit a home run off of anyone, right? Right. Aside from that, it was pretty much the Justin Verlander show. It’s like he saw Andrew Miller’s start and said to himself, “Oh hell no, I am NOT taking a backseat to that kid. I will be the best first-round pick in this organization and people WILL love me and my name shall be known throughout the lands, especially the St. Louis lands.” Something like that.

This was a nice little rematch with our World Series enemies of last year. It did feel nice to dominate interleague play in the traditional American League way, and it did feel good to slap some Cardinals across their smarmy faces. Jim Leyland does make a good point, though:

“They had the last laugh,” Leyland said Sunday afternoon. “They got the big ring and we got the second-best ring. We don’t get a ring for winning these three games.”
official site game recap

Well, no, obviously we don’t. But we do get temporary chest-pounding and hooting rights, because there’s ALWAYS next year, and OUR next year doesn’t involve Kip Wells. I feel pretty good about that.