Category Archives: Danny Worth

Terrible Cartoons from a Not-Terrible Weekend

illustrations by Samara Pearlstein

I will be honest: although I did watch the entire game yesterday, after that top of the 10th I was quite thoroughly mired in Despair. It just seemed like the sort of thing that the Tigers absolutely do not overcome. I was resigned to my fate, willing to watch the sad final eep of the Tigers as they finished off the game, probably with something horrible like a weak groundout double play.

Then a whole bunch of magical baseball things happened, ending with MIGUEL CABRERA LEADING HIS FELID TROOPS TO VICTORY! Also, one of the most epic Super Best Friends hugs ever.

The pure, beautiful, boundless love between Prince and Miggy is one of the greatest things about this season and I think you will all agree.

Austin Jackson was instrumental in that last push to unexpected victory. He also had two triples on the day. Austin Jackson loves getting three bases at once and Comerica likes to reward him for that very specific affection.

The less said about Joe West, the better, but there had to be a cartoon.

Obligatory (?) Doug Fister with Hulk Hands doodle from Saturday’s complete game Fiesta Tigres masterpiece.

I guess the Tigers acquired Jeff Baker from the Cubs at some point, with the idea that he will be the right-handed bat that Ryan Raburn (DL’d with a wonky thumb, or at least that’s what they’re saying; could be DL’d with Persistent Awfulness) never quite was this season. The Cubbie haul has not yet been named. Verdict: meh, but I am a little concerned on behalf of Quintin Berry for the reason illustrated above.

Where in the World Tigers system is Danny Worth? He had been down, then he got called up, but now I think he’s down again? Maybe? I actually have no idea. I doubt that Danny Worth even knows where he is anymore. He has been up and down and down and up so many times this season that he’s practically two quarks, or at least this awkward yo-yo.

the Oakland A’s actually want Scott Sizemore

photo by Samara Pearlstein

I guess the Tigers got tired of scenes like the above, because they have just traded Scott Sizemore, his .222 batting average, and his .567 OPS to the Oakland A’s. In return, the Tigers receive former starter/current lefty reliever David Purcey, along with his 3.60 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, and small sample size of 15 innings pitched this season.

Yeah. Um.

The post title is actually a little bit of a lie, because according to Jason Beck, Sizemore will be joining the A’s in a triple-A capacity. Second base for the A’s at this point in time is mostly Mark Ellis (batting even worse than Sizemore) with a backup of Andy LaRoche (almost as bad, and mostly playing SS/3B this year), so it’s not like there’s no room for Sizemore to work his way onto the team. Still.

The Detroit lefty relief corps right now consists of Purcey, Charlie Furbush, Adam Wilk and Daniel Schlereth. Obviously someone is leaving… two someones, actually, since Andy Oliver is coming up to pitch this weekend. Ryan Perry has been filled with struggles (turns out this is why he cut his hair, as noted in yesterday’s game post; he’s been trying all sorts of things to change his luck) so he might be one of the Expendables. Not sure yet who the other will be. It would be kind of mean to bring Wilk up and then send him packing again so soon, but do they really need THAT many lefties?

David Purcey is a career 5.17 pitcher. He has a fastball that hangs out in the low 90s, so as a lefty I guess there’s your point of interest. The word you’re looking for right now is ‘meh’.

Danny Worth reaps the benefits of this move, as he’s the infielder getting recalled from MudHenville to do what Sizemore has been doing, but hopefully better. At least slightly better. Please.

No Will Rhymes (remember, he was the one sent down when the Great Scott Sizemore Experiment of 2011 began), not yet anyways. He’s batting .296 and OPSing .728 for Muddy right now. Danny Worth was batting .270 and OPSing .787. Just sayin’.

For a little blast from the past reference, the only David Purcey graphic I had on file was the one heading up this post, from 2008. Good times. Good, futile times.

it’s raining on your birthday, cats

image by Samara Pearlstein

No game today (Thursday), only rain. As a result, the Tigers will play yet another double-header on Friday, assuming the clouds do not continue to weep upon Baltimore. Apparently the Baseball Gods are really into having the Tigers play all of their final games at once. If there was a way to compress them all into one single deathmatch day of baseball, that is probably what would happen.

BUT WAIT, ALL IS NOT SADNESS. September 30 is a big day for the Tigers even without a game, because it is

~**~the birthday~**~

of Carlos Guillen, and Danny Worth!

They share a birthday! Just like Max Scherzer and Dave Dombrowski (scroll down in that link). Carlos Guillen is turning 35 years old today, and Danny Worth is turning 25. Yes, you are reading that correctly: Carlos Guillen is exactly ten years older than Danny Worth.

Way to make your teammate feel even older than his Surgically Repaired Body is already making him feel, Danny.

Anyways, hopefully this happy day will have resulted in clubhouse cake gorging. The team was stuck in Baltimore on a rainy day, they truly had nothing else to do with their time but celebrate the birthing of Carlos Guillen and Danny Worth. I am aware that neither one of these guys is actually on the roster at the moment– Carlos still and forever languishing on the DL; Danny also on the DL, see, they are destined to be together– but when has such a minor detail stopped a ballplayer from partying before? Especially when cake is involved. Everyone loves cake. (Except for Julio Franco.)

Max Scherzer’s Terrifying K Army

photo illustration thing by Samara Pearlstein

Blue Ks on the right! Brown Ks on the left! And in the middle– TOTAL SCHERZERIFICATION.

Six strikeouts in seven innings is far from his season high (I was totally going to reuse that cartoon tonight before I had one last burst of not-too-tiredness), but it is still respectable, and Max was so good through the first 6 innings that he deserves every last bit of his creepy K army picture. Through six he had given up two singles, a triple, and one walk. That was IT. Nobody had scored on him, not even the triple. RESPECT.

He’s started 8 games now since he came back from the temporary Toledo demotion. In that time he’s averaged around 10 Ks per 9 innings pitched. In that time he’s had one bad game (he gave up 5 runs in 5 innings in KC), two mediocre games (3 earned runs each in 7.1 and 6 inning starts respectively), and five really bloody good games (in 33.1 innings, he gave up 3 earned runs).

SEE, FREDFRED? Toledo is soothing and magical. Let it work its magic on you.

Miggy was 2-for-3, and so was Inge. Inge had the extra-base hit, though. Wicked.

After Scherzer, it was all about the Firsts. Robbie Weinhardt came on in relief of Scherzer for his big league debut. He wasn’t perfect– he gave up a hit and a run– but he wasn’t horrific either. The runner came around to score on the next reliever’s watch anyways, so it wasn’t even really all his fault.

Phil Coke got his very first save as a Tiger.

Danny Worth got his very first big league home run! It was a solo shot in the third inning, off of Brad Bergesen, who, yes, is an Oriole, but it was still a legit home run, ok, back off.

Now here’s the deal.

Today (Thursday) is an offday. I won’t be around much this weekend because I will be bumming about on the Cape. And then it’s the All Star break, which means a midseason report card and whatever the heck else I feel like posting. That’s still a longish break before an MLB-imposed break, so to make it up to you, I’m giving you the chance to


Very simple. I have a list of things I want to cartoon while I’m on the Cape (Carlos ‘Guillentine’, Danny Worth’s first HR, Brennan Boesch hitting lasers, etc). Why do you want on there? Speak. Maybe I will draw it.

If you don’t vote for Miguel Cabrera, you are what is wrong with the world.

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Vote Miguel Cabrera into the 2010 All Star game. It is the Right Thing to Do. In fact, it is the only right thing you can do. If you vote for anyone else, you are actively working to destroy everything that is good in the world, like chocolate and kittens and sunshine and the innocent trust of a child. Do you want to work to destroy those things? DO YOU REALLY? I mean, kittens.

Currently leading the voting at first base is Mark Teixeira, who is batting .211/.326/.363 with 8 home runs. Yes, you read that correctly, this rubber-faced trollbeast, hitting a weaksauce .211, is LEADING THE VOTING. Brandon Inge is doing better than that and Brandon Inge is having a wretched season at the plate so far. Teixeira is currently ahead of Justin Morneau AND Billy Butler AND Miguel Cabrera, and everyone else in the entire first-base-playing world, simply because he wraps his rump in pinstripes. This is a wrongness. It is a mockery of Major League Baseball and the entire All Star system. (Not that the system isn’t already a mockery of itself, but you know, worse than usual, etc.)

If you vote for Miguel Cabrera, you are making some strides, however small, towards righting this wrong. And if we get EVERYONE to vote for Miguel Cabrera, why, lots of small strides can add up to one gigantic stomp that crushes Mark Teixeira under its Heel of Justice. YES. FOR BASEBALL!

If you refrain from voting at all, know that your apathy is just as damaging. Inaction can be as harmful as the wrong action, kids and kittens, never forget that.

Again, you can vote right over here. You can (and should) vote up to 25 times per email address, up until midnight on July 1. There are no Tigers leading in any categories. Only YOU can stop forest fires fix this voting mess!

Other cats:

Adam Everett will be designated for assignment on Tuesday. The Tigers will bring up Danny Worth to take his place. They’ve had a lot of patience for Everett’s offensive shortcomings, so I’m not sure why the plug is being pulled right now, but it is, and we all must live with the impending absence of Adam Everett’s hair from our immediate lives. I suppose Ramon Santiago will get some more playing time if Worth ends up being shaky. But this is apparently the year of starting kittens at the big league level and giving them a ton of at-bats and just hoping it works out for the best. Thus far we’re 1-and-1 on that (Jackson, yes; Sizemore, no), so.

Jim Leyland has an interesting bucket list.

Leyland said he never met John Wooden, the legendary UCLA men’s basketball coach who died on Friday at age 99 — but when asked who he’d most like to meet, that he hasn’t yet, it wasn’t a sports figure.

Barbra Streisand,” he said. “I almost introduced myself to her one time when she was at a game in Los Angeles, but I didn’t have the nerve. I’ve just always admired her as a singer and entertainer. I thought she was the greatest of all time.

“She’s on my bucket list. But I’m doubt I’m on hers.”
Tom Gage/Detroit News

I… ok. We do already know that Mr. Leyland can sing shockingly, unexpectedly well; perhaps this is related?

Dontrelle’s first game as a Diamondback was glorious. He threw six shutout innings. He singled and scored the first run of the game (greenlighted on a ball hit to the outfield, he ended up sliding headfirst across home, just barely beating out the throw). He got the win. Oh, my Dontrelle! I wipe a happy/sad tear of pride from my eye.