illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Do you think it gives me pleasure to post this? Do you think I want to have to look at the malformed, mutated, biologically improbable skull of Sluggerrr every time my browser happens over this way? Do you think this is fun for me, Tigers? Do you??
This is what happens when the Tigers get swept by the Royals, on the very home turf of this accursed creature. It is true that anyone can get swept by the Royals– it happened to the Wrong Sox earlier this month, it happened to the Rays back in June, etc– but that did not make it any easier to watch in progress, and that does not make it any easier to swallow now, after the crime has been committed. I submit that it is one thing to be swept by the Royals and it is another, significantly worse thing to be swept by the Royals while involved in extremely close races for both the division and a wild card spot.
(Although those races are getting less close all the time, as a result of things like being swept by the Royals.)
I know that there’s a month left. I know that it’s a roster-expanding month, with all the new maneuverability that implies. I know that so many things over which the Tigers have no control could happen: maybe the Wrong Sox pitchers eat some bad shrimp at a post-game buffet and all come down with debilitating ailments of the digestive tract; maybe the A’s start playing horribly at home because their field is getting all messed up from football games; maybe Tampa just stops trying because nobody’s watching them anyways; maybe the Orioles remember that they’re the Orioles and experience a spectacular yet appropriate statistical rationalization.
But for the love of Paws, the Tigers could have REALLY used this series.