Everett hits one out, Angels refuse to be properly impressed

illustration by Samara Pearlstein

–Couldn’t really think of anything to use for an image today, then I remembered that ADAM EVERETT HIT A HOME RUN, which is crazy like a crazybug that’s been sucking on the crazyjuice of the crazyplant in Crazyville. I reckon that deserves acknowledgment.

–Before today’s game, Nate Robertson was recalled from Toledo, and Arrrrrrmando Galarraga was sent down in his place. He’ll be back up on September 1 when the rosters expand. Rod did say that he had “a little inflammation in his throwing elbow,” but every pitcher has a little inflammation in his throwing elbow at some point or other during the season, it’s one of those things that happens when you whip your arm around in ridiculously unnatural ways in order to throw a baseball.

Nate will get the start on Friday, so, uh… yeah, that should be a “fun” one.

–I like how the new Lions commercials emphasize the fact that the Lions are making “no promises” beyond the alleged fact that they’ll work hard this year. Also, the All You Can Eat Seats sound like a potential disaster. Do you really want to be sitting near the guy who’s been downing as many bratwurst as he can possibly fit in his digestive system at one time?

–Bobby Abreu is the weirdest base stealer. You look at a guy like Jacoby Ellsbury or Curtis Granderson, you totally get that he will steal a lot of bases, because he just LOOKS fast. Abreu, though, looks like he should by rights be slow as molasses. I distinctly remember the first time I saw him play in person (it was in Fenway); I forget who the pitcher was, but he checked Abreu a zillion times whenever he was at first, and I had NO idea why. Until I saw him steal a base… and steal another base… I don’t know. His instincts must be spectacular.

–The Rally Monkeys stole five bases off of Gerald Laird today, which is the most in any single game so far this season. Poor G-Money. The Angels do steal a lot off of everyone, though, it’s kind of Their Thing.

–Big missed opportunity in the 4th. There were men on first and second (Magglio and Polanco respectively), nobody out, Cabrera at the plate, 3-0 count. Cabrera went on to strike out swinging. The runners were going and Napoli threw Polanco out easily at third. So it was two outs, Magglio on second, Thames up, and he flew out to Hunter in center. Waste, waste, waste.

–Rod on Thames: “If he gets a fastball right now, he’s gonna come outta his belt!” Uh… what?

–Miggy had eyeblack on to start the game, but by the 6th inning he had wiped it off. Thames and Raburn and Everett still had their eyeblack on, in the same inning. It was still very sunny and bright.

–There were a whole lot of empty seats in Anaheim today. I guess the fact that it was a mid-day game on a Wednesday had something to do with that, and the heat may have kept people away. They listed the attendance as 36,329, but I’m not sure I believe that.

–Jackson was afflicted with Justin Verlander Disease in this one: the dreaded inefficiency. He had thrown something like 109 pitches after 6 innings. He should not have gone out to start the 7th… of course Figgins lead off the 7th with a double.

–Bottom of the 7th, Perry pitching. He struck out Hunter… Figgins was on third base, having previously advanced on a ground out. Both Perry and Laird turned their backs on Figgins at third. Figgins snuck down the line, then broke for home! Crudcats! Flackbadgers!

Apparently Brandon Inge asked for time and the umpire had his hands up before Figgins got home. Very, very lucky that they actually granted it, because Perry didn’t even make the throw home, just gestured with the ball. Figgins would have stolen home easily if time had not been called (thank you alert Mr. Inge) and granted (thank you HP ump).

–I still can’t quite believe ALL our scoring for the day came from Adam “Just Let Me Go To The Plate With My Glove Please” Everett.

–The Red Sox helped us out by beating the Wrong Sox yet again. David Ortiz hit a walkoff homer to win it, because David Ortiz is glorious.

How could you do this to Armando? How?

photo by Samara Pearlstein

Poor Arrrrrrmando! He tries so hard! He knows he hasn’t been at his best this season, so he substitutes EFFORT for EASY SKILLED PITCHING, and he finally gets his effort to line up with his results and he only allows one run on one hit!

The only run he allowed wasn’t even entirely his fault! Because he had left a man on base when the upper half of the SeayLyon came in, and Bobby was the one who gave up a two-run homer and let the inherited runner score! Despite what the boxscore may say you can really only partly blame that on Armando! He pitched into the 8th inning without giving up any runs on his own!

And now his face is sad! He is making the sadface!

Sigh.

It’s hard to even really fault the Tigs for not hitting King Felix. He is, after all, King Felix. And Aardsma has been amazing this year. It was like the baseball scales were being balanced after Tuesday’s crazy messy homer-happy hitstravaganza; this was the pitching duel that that had utterly failed to be.

But it’s still hard to see Arrrrmando go deep into the game and allow only one single weeny little hit (granted, he also issued four walks, but you know what I mean), and not get a win for his troubles. The only good thing is that he didn’t also get a loss.

How can it get worse?

Don’t be foolish, kids and kittens, it can always get worse.

–Brandon Inge has a load of microtears in his knee tendons. They are causing him “excruciating pain”. Great. That’s just spectacular.

–Joel Zumaya may or may not be having season-ending surgery. He’s pretty much going to have to have surgery at some point, it’s just a question of doing it now and for sure killing the rest of his season, or doing it once the year’s over. I say do it now. If he tries to come back before the season’s over I would expect him to reinjure it within the month anyways.

Remember that Thursday AND Friday have 1:05 pm day games, because Friday is a double-header of Wrong Sox. I would really rather not see the Tigs go into a double-header with a loss, and I would like to see the bats be nicer to La France than they were to Armando. Tigers: let’s do this thing.