poetic Paws photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein
Alternatively titled: A Series of Haikus About the Tigers Because This University Is Whupping My Posterior Right Now And You’ll Have a Proper Post soon. Ish.
an ode to Paws
Maybe moths eat him,
When he is stored on off days:
Sad mangy mascot.
eternal question
Nobody can tell
the reason for the size of
Polanco’s brainpan.
an ode to Sean Casey
Always debated,
Good or bad. Whatever they
say: You rocked Cape League.
a public service announcement
Hack hack cough cough hack,
Whoop cough cough hack cough cough hack.
We’re Jim Leyland’s lungs.
it’s true you know
Pine tar or not, at
least Kenny doesn’t follow
the hand-peeing trend.
almost aerial
Sunny day in June,
best seat in the house belongs
to scoreboard tiger.
an ode to Carlos Guillen
Most underrated
Player at his position.
Bollocks to Jeter.
waiting on April
Maybe a snow-out!
Never know in Michigan.
Baseball starting soon!
Roar of the Tigers 
on-base percentage
is for the birds, keep up the
good work, young tigress
Millen and Ford blow.
Ill wind makes paper Lions dance,
brings tears to our eyes.
Paws’ giant honker
is oddly compelling here.
Still looks retarded.
(in a good way)
(o noez broke format!)
These are beautiful.
an ode to Pudge
Crazy little man
with the disturbing smile,
hit me a homerun.
Yeah that sucked. :P
You are brilliant!
Haikus are awesome
When they inspire you guys
To reply in kind.
:P
Pudge hitting leadoff?
Along with profanity
Ozzie can do math!
—
ScoutingBook.com: Baseball’s Top Prospects and more.
I think the word “profanity” turned Leyland into “Ozzie.” Or maybe Ozzie’s just a funnier name.
Funny how the brain works, but it scans either way. :)
Ha ha ha, no, I could totally see that happening. If someone said to me “first name you think of: manager, profanity” I’d immediately think Ozzie Guillen…
It’s funny because I was actually thinking about Leyland grumbling and bawling out the Tigers after some sloppy fielding play, and somehow between my brain and my fingers, the word “Ozzie” came out.
He’s got powerful mojo.