noble poetry for noble cats


poetic Paws photo illustration by Samara Pearlstein

Alternatively titled: A Series of Haikus About the Tigers Because This University Is Whupping My Posterior Right Now And You’ll Have a Proper Post soon. Ish.

an ode to Paws

Maybe moths eat him,
When he is stored on off days:
Sad mangy mascot.

eternal question

Nobody can tell
the reason for the size of
Polanco’s brainpan.

an ode to Sean Casey

Always debated,
Good or bad. Whatever they
say: You rocked Cape League.

a public service announcement

Hack hack cough cough hack,
Whoop cough cough hack cough cough hack.
We’re Jim Leyland’s lungs.

it’s true you know

Pine tar or not, at
least Kenny doesn’t follow
the hand-peeing trend.

almost aerial

Sunny day in June,
best seat in the house belongs
to scoreboard tiger.

an ode to Carlos Guillen

Most underrated
Player at his position.
Bollocks to Jeter.

waiting on April

Maybe a snow-out!
Never know in Michigan.
Baseball starting soon!

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10 responses to “noble poetry for noble cats

  1. on-base percentage
    is for the birds, keep up the
    good work, young tigress

  2. Millen and Ford blow.
    Ill wind makes paper Lions dance,
    brings tears to our eyes.

  3. Paws’ giant honker
    is oddly compelling here.
    Still looks retarded.
    (in a good way)
    (o noez broke format!)

  4. ivantopumpyouup

    These are beautiful.
    an ode to Pudge
    Crazy little man
    with the disturbing smile,
    hit me a homerun.
    Yeah that sucked. :P

  5. You are brilliant!

  6. Haikus are awesome
    When they inspire you guys
    To reply in kind.
    :P

  7. Pudge hitting leadoff?
    Along with profanity
    Ozzie can do math!

    ScoutingBook.com: Baseball’s Top Prospects and more.

  8. I think the word “profanity” turned Leyland into “Ozzie.” Or maybe Ozzie’s just a funnier name.
    Funny how the brain works, but it scans either way. :)

  9. Ha ha ha, no, I could totally see that happening. If someone said to me “first name you think of: manager, profanity” I’d immediately think Ozzie Guillen…

  10. It’s funny because I was actually thinking about Leyland grumbling and bawling out the Tigers after some sloppy fielding play, and somehow between my brain and my fingers, the word “Ozzie” came out.
    He’s got powerful mojo.

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