illustration by Samara Pearlstein, click to view larger
In previous years the DIBS (Detroit Independent Baseball Scribes) awards were things like Pitcher of the Year and Breakout Player of the Year and Overall Player of the Year, and it was always incredibly obvious who was going to win (Justin Verlander, whichever rookie had had the best season, and Miguel Cabrera respectively). This year I guess Kurt got bored, so he sent out an email asking everyone for suggestions for new categories.
Naturally I fired off a response full of stupidity, rambling, and categories like Most Creative Injury of the Year and The Kyle Farnsworth Brawl Enforcer Award. It is my way. I assumed that everyone else would pipe up with legitimate award categories and maybe I would sneak in one Best Pitching Face award or something and all would be well.
THEN FREAKING NOBODY ELSE RESPONDED and the Bless You Boys AXIS OF EVIL decided to go with a bunch of RotT-style awards as though that was normal and appropriate. It just goes to show that you cannot trust that massive blog-nopoly. I’ve got my eye on you cats from now on.
Best On-Field Celebration
Jose PAPA GRANDE Valverde
Best Hair, Facial or Otherwise
Phil DRINK ME Coke
Best Pitching Face
Justin WAIT THIS AWARD CLEARLY SHOULD HAVE GONE TO VALVERDE Verlander
Best Use of Social Media
Will INTERNETS Rhymes
Biggest Surprise
Brennan FIRST HALF Boesch
Best Value
Austin ACTUAL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR Jackson
Most Valuable
Miguel MVP OF OUR HEARTS Cabrera
So there you have it. You can probably guess which categories were RotT-generated.
The DIBS bloggers responsible for this ridiculousness are:
Bless You Boys AXIS OF EVIL: Kurt Mensching, Allison Hagen, Matt Wallace, David Tokarz and Al Beaton
the Daily Fungo: Mike McClary
DesigNate Robertson: Scott Rogowski
Detroit Tigers Scorecard: Austin Drake
Detroit Tigers Weblog/TigsTown: Billfer
MLive: James Schmehl and Matt Sussman
MLive/SB Nation Detroit: Ian Casselberry, aka THE FATHER OF THE AXIS OF EVIL
Motor City Bengals: John Parent, Matt Snyder, Zac Snyder, and Chris Hannum
Old English D: Jennifer Cosey
TigerBlog: Brian Borawski
Tigers Amateur Analysis: Erin Saelzler
Tigers by the Numbers: Mike Rogers who apparently ALSO writes for BYB, I tell you, it’s getting FRIGHTENING, they are MULTIPLYING like lemmings or zebra mussels
Tiger Tales: Lee Panas
Where Have You Gone, Johnny Grubb?: Greg Eno
And me, of course. So there you have it. Again.
Roar of the Tigers 
LOL, next time I’m making you write the press release! This was too awesome.
I C WAT U DID THERE
I like these better than the old awards. And Robbie Weinhardt’s gonna have to step it up if he wants to pry that Social Media award out of Will Rhymes’ tweeting hands…
Oh, and by the way, if you don’t watch yourself next year we’ll include “Tigers blogger who must get on Twitter — OR ELSE!”
I’m not getting on Twitter until Will Rhymes campaigns for it. Ooooo what now what now
don’t make me pull strings!
Oh boy that could get ugly… or turn out hilarious. I’d like to see the result of pulled strings!
Anyways, back to the subject at hand. Excellent choices for both topics and award recipients. Rhymes’ picture is the funniest. Definately looks like he needs body guards or something! :)
love u mean it
I don’t really know what’s happening here,
but I think I like it.
And the award for bestest blog goes to…
This is wonderful. Bless You Boys can be so serious these days. They needed the influx of Crazy People-style Detroit Baseball.
Father of WHAT?
Do I need to get a black suit and a monocle?
Awesome! The facial hair category was a tough one this year especially after the mohawk incident.
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srs bsnss
Biggest surpirse–Boesch of May & June
Second Biggest Surprise (& Not in a Good Way)–Boesch of July & August